THE HOUSE BY THE ROAD

Seems easier this time. Why would that be? Is it that its all gone? Is it that there is nothing left to give? Don't know what it is but things are not the same. Maybe it's the anger or maybe its the reality of the whole situation. I didn't hold much hope since I have been down this road before. Maybe it's the lost hope or maybe its me just openning my eyes to the reality. They say repetition makes perfection and maybe thats what has happened here. It is like the same thing over and over. Well the path seemed more and more familiar and the scenery never changed. Guess that is what brought out the boredom. I am reminded of my 60 mile drives to work I used to do a while back. The first 15 min was intense with the hussle and bussle of the traffic and people getting to work. After those initial 15 min I would hit the skirts of town and the road would open up. With the country setting a house by the road, a pastured with a creek and the animals grazing the land. I would see people heading out of town to a different destination to get away from it all. I would always wonder if these folks would think the same of me. But I was stuck in the same road down the highway with the same house by the road, the same pasture with the creek running down the middle. The scene was the same day in day out. So routine that at times I would arrive and be terrified by the fact that I had arrived. Where did the time go? Where was the traffic? How did I manage to get there without realizing where I was? Terrifing thoughts of what could have happened where the routine had become so monotonous that it lacked feeling and excitement. Many times I longed to be pulled into a different road and a different scene! Change of the landscape. Keep the life exciting. I tried many times to find a different way and always found myself in a roadblock or back to the point I had started out at. Towards the end of my stint at that job, I realized the inevitable that no matter how hard I tried I was destined to the same road with the house by the road, the pasture, and all those people heading out of town to get away from it all while I was stuck going to work. The only way to change the inevitable was to make a change. The change was made and it was the start of one of my difficult times in my life. Maybe I'm headed down the same road I once traveled. But like then the change had to be made. Seems the road had lost that loving feeling. There's no looking back.