The World of TexasChubby1

YOU GOT A FRIEND

2006-06-28T18:05:00.000-05:00

Hey, aint it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them. (You Got A Friend - James Taylor)

If only it was like the slogan and you will hear "YOU GOT A FRIEND" each time you meet someone new. Been thinking more and more about my friends. I recently went thru a Divorce and was in need of some friends to stand by me. Things have changed so much. If you ask my x-wife she will tell you that my friends cost a huge burdon on my marriage. Though I tend to see it otherwise. To me they were the ones that helped my marriage last as long as it did! See I see friends in a totally different light. To me a friend is someone that I can trust with my entire life. Someone that I know has my back, someone that puts me before themselves. Someone that is not selfish. Most people would say how can you ask for such a thing. Simple, I say because thats how I treat my friends. I am not selfish and my interest is always thier best interest. Mind you many think this is ridiculous seeing that a friend is an "aquaintance." Those to me are not friends and though I use the word frequently sometimes it is used loosely. The way I see it, I have very little friends for most are not willing to sacrafice the ultimate being of ME. Yea, I would do this for my few friends, sacrifice myself for them. In fact there is little that I wouldn't do for them. I hope my actions so far in life have proven this to them. As I would always tell my x-wife, "I can lose everything but a friend is someone who I will have forever!"

BLUE SKIES

2006-05-26T16:53:00.000-05:00

I was blue, just as blue as I could be
Ev'ry day was a cloudy day for me
Then good luck came a-knocking at my door
Skies were gray but they're not gray anymore Blue Skies - Rod Stewart

They say that every low has its high. After traveling through some lows, I have seemed to find my high. Little did I know. How could I since it seemed just like any other. The kind that I seem to walk away from. I wasn't about to give it that satisfaction. Persistance or was it the stubborn bull in you? Whatever it was it worked. The minutes turned to hours and here we are today. Can't wait to see what is next. Smiles and laughter has replaced those endless loney nights. The days are brighter with not a cloud in sight! Nothing but Blue Skies!

THE AVERAGE GUY

2006-05-08T01:03:00.000-05:00

I really dont do these but found this one a bit interesting. Goes to show what I always say that I am just your average guy. HOW BORING! I always wanted to be more than just an average guy! Was very content with my circle of good friends but always wanted more...

ALBERT

All American Kid

Popular but not plastic. Athletic but not a jock. Smart but not a brain.

You were well rounded and well liked in high school.

Who Were You In High School?

PEACEFUL SOUL AT REST

2006-04-09T03:52:00.000-05:00

...And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing left to win
And nothing else to lose (With or Without You - U2)

Its 4:00 AM and all I can think of is you. Why aren't you on? As I ponder, I recall vividly the image of you laying next to me just like you were not too long ago. Asleep. The body at rest as I see the your chest expand with every breath it took. The thoughts of waking you up but then again how could I do it when you were so peacefully sleeping. I recall the glow of the light encircling your body as it layed curled up and searching for warmth. I couldn't help but reach over and wrap my arm around you. The feel of my touch made your body react. The spark of warmth as my hand touched the skin sent chills running down your spine. Oh the thoughts raced through my head as I saw your body react to the touch. How I wished to wake you up but as I remove my hand I just layed there basking in the ever lasting image of your peaceful soul at rest!

-ALBERT

MIDNIGHT RENDEZVOUS

2006-03-31T12:46:00.000-06:00

Just when I had gotten used to it, it was gone. All I had left was this empty space next to me. I miss the touch of your hand, the feel of your kiss, and the sound of your voice! I loved the feel of holding you in my arms as your rested your head on my chest and you layed there with your arms wrapped around my body. You made me feel like I had all your trust and all your whole world in my arms. I want to protect you, to make you feel safe in my arms just like that safety a child feels with his Dad. Did you feel it? I want to give you the world, I want to be your all. Do you want it? Who knows when we feel it and get it again. For now I'll see you at our little Midnight Rendezvous!

-ALBERT

TRUE FRIENDS

2006-03-01T11:59:00.000-06:00

When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all
I'm on your side, oh
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found (Bridge over Troubled Water – Simon & Garfunkle)

I got the number of an old friend, a friend who I had not talked nor seen in 15 years. That is a long time and I pondered whether to call or not. My thoughts drifted to a time in my life when he was an impact. I wondered what they had been up to and what is going on now. Sometimes memories should just be kept in the past and lives should move on. I ignored those thoughts as I placed the call to my past. I met my friend for dinner and drinks. The drive memory lane was great things that I had forgotten were now becoming an instant replay in my mind. The hours pasted and the evening became short and we both wondered why it had been 15 years since we last spoke! I am glad I got to find a long lost friend. They were important in shaping my life and into who I am today. Friends are so hard to find now-a-days! I don’t have many friends but I do have a lot of acquaintances. Why I don’t know maybe my thoughts of friends is different that others. To me a friend carries a heavy task. Maybe that’s not fair and I shouldn’t do that but it is what I strive for so figure my friends should be able to do the same. A friend is one that doesn’t judge. I read an email once that said a friend is someone who is willing to stand by you and help when it is needed but a True Friend is one that is sitting with you in jail laughing at what just happened. That’s what I strive to be for my friends. Stand in the middle of it with them all along laughing, crying, and singing as we sink together. A friend who is doesn’t judge and walks together fighting the same battle not competing against each other in it. A friend who’s goal is willing to risk it all for the sake of the friendship. Running into my old friend reminded me of being what friendship is. “When you're down and out, when you're on the street, when evening falls so hard I will comfort you. I'll take your part, oh when darkness comes and pain is all around.” I need fixing and I am searching for my True Friends.

-ALBERT

FIX ME

2006-02-14T22:27:00.000-06:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you Coldplay - Fix You

Theres seems to be a cure for everything now-a-days. A magic pill to fix anything. But yet we don't have a cure for the loneliness. What brought it? A void an emptiness. Guess we should look at it that way. That basically what we feel is that that has gone away. Could we have been so lucky that we did have it at one time the joy and happiness? Our minds filled with wonderful thoughts - the thoughts of invincibility and the thoughts of forever! Sadly it wasn't forever. Nothing in life is and thus it brings us the void called loneliness. I sit here alone on this Valentines Day with the thoughts running through my head of the fun and joy that I once enjoyed. With a heavy heart's desire to feel that LOVE again! The feels of a soft kiss caressing the neck. The feel of a hand on my face as a pair of eyes look into my soul. The feel of joy from the wisper of "I love you..." ringing in my ear. Oh how the heart cries "fix me!"

ALBERT

WALKING THE DARK ROAD

2006-02-02T20:52:00.000-06:00

There's nothing else to lose
nothing left to find
There's nothing in the world
That could change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else...

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer where I Started
Chasing after you (Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse)

Don't know what it is? Tired of the games and just looking for the truth! Why do I keep hanging around? Maybe a part of me refuses to believe the signs that are there. Sometimes we are just blinded by the idea and are not able to see reality. The simple things give one the confidence to go keep going, yet the simple things never came. That in itself should have been the biggest sign. Yet the couple of calls and the few words that were spoken kept us there! But then I find myself walking this road. Where was I going? Was hoping to meet in the middle. But having arrived there, I find myself alone. I wait a little longer hoping for the moment to come then looking up and seeing the light begin to dim. I start to walk past the middle thinking that maybe you may be close. Yet I still see no sign. What could have happened? Ponder if I should wait a little longer, yet at the same time I think how much more time? Its getting dark and I should head back, yet I can't bear the thoughts of walking the dark road alone.

-ALBERT
_______________

Found this great write on this song...

The moments that make up our lives are often filled with precious transcendence, but only when we let go long enough to be suspended in the moment. Maybe that’s one of our biggest problems. It’s so rare that we stop long enough to contemplate just what is going on in our lives. To do this you have to surrender your agenda, at least long enough to be open to a sometimes frightening or overwhelming unknown.Lifehouse captures this elusive suspension of time in their powerful “Hanging By a Moment”. In the course of a short power-pop rock song they take us through doubt, fear, surrender, change and faith – no small accomplishment. You appreciate the image of “falling more in love with you” that the band is singing about. You can take the song as yet another expression of heartfelt affection between two people, but I think it’s evident that the song is about the mysterious divine relationship so many of us hunger after. When we struggle to make the connection it often falls flat. Instead, we are invited to let go of our self-centeredness, admit that we are incomplete and incapable by ourselves of finding the real meaning in life and just be in a moment. The song brings up some pretty important things to get to this “hanging moment”. It helps when we are “desperate for changing” and “starving for truth”. We must be willing to chase after something we don’t understand, only knowing that when we admit we can’t do it all then we’ll go running to the One who invites us “to take all of me”.

WILL

2006-01-25T16:06:00.000-06:00

Technology is playing more and more of a role in our lives and all aspect of life seem to be embrassing and evolving with it. A while back I wrote about how technology brought people around the world to our doorsteps. No longer were we confinded to our city or town in the people we met. Ran accross an article on courtship and started reading. Intriging how things have evolved. Romance is now more possible no longer is one just limited to the traditional ways. It is hard for those of us who would like the traditional means of courtship. I started reading more of the article and saw how people are using technology to their advantage. Long Distance relationships are more common now not just for dating but even for married people. I know this may not be the best for everyone but it has opened the doors for other possibilities. Having gone through two LDR (long distance relationships) I can say it takes alot of efforts. The first one though it was the hardest seemed to be the simplest and successful. How could that be? It was almost 18 years ago before the internet, text messaging and cell phones. The last one was 2 years ago and though we had the conviniences of all this modern technology it didn't work! Why? Is it harder with todays technologies? I think it still comes down the the simple things. The two parties have to want it to make it successful. Looking back I see that lacking in the second. The understanding that this can't be forever and at some point someone has to be willing to make a move. The open dialog in this respects is very important. What else is needed? Relationships need romance and though there is nothing that replaces a touch, a hug or a kiss, there are other ways to do it. A simple Text message saying "I'm thinking of you." How bout a phone call when you know your lover is working and leaving a romantic message. Even the traditional ways (a letter or card or flowers) still play a surpising show of love and affection. Given all these keys the most important is the WILL from both sides. I guess in the technology of courtship we still can't forget the simple things to show intrest, love, and affection!
_______________________

You're 35; try giving long-distance love a shot
THE WASHINGTON POST
Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Dear Carolyn: My story: Boy meets girl out in Washington, D.C.; instant chemistry. On first real date, girl admits to boy that she already has plans for moving to New York City in a couple weeks to attend school for about a year, but that she likes boy, too. Girl postpones moving plans a bit, spending an additional two months with boy, who continues to fall madly in love with girl. But, boy really wants girl to pursue professional dreams, and is supportive, while admitting he will miss her.
Girl is now moving in less than a month. Boy has never been a big fan of long-distance situations, but has never felt this way before, even though, at 35, he probably should be old enough to know better! Girl is 27. Is it better to sever things so that both can fully enjoy everything their respective cities have to offer? — Matt

Dear Matt: Boy, oh boy. Boy boy boy. You have met someone for whom you have feelings that you've never felt before, and you are 35. And you'd sever things? Over being a three-hour train ride apart? For a year?
You must be reading advice to younger readers or something.
If you were 21, the never-felt-this-before standard would still be significant, but you'd have to weigh it against the fact that as a new adult you're going to feel a whole lot of things you've never felt before.
But at the threshold of middle age, you should in fact know yourself better. A few months of knowing someone is nothing, but knowing when you've found a good thing is everything.
Besides, at any age, there isn't much sense in throwing away a perfectly good toaster just because there's a chance it might break. Have the nerve to tell her you care enough to want to keep seeing her, then have the nerve to see where it goes.

OBSESSION

2006-01-21T15:05:00.000-06:00

You are an obsession
I cannot sleep
I am your possession
Unopened at your feet
There's no balance
No equality
Be still I will not accept defeat (Animotion - Obsession)

Is there something that takes control of you and you feel helpless? The thirst the hunger the want but no fulfillment! You try and get more but there’s no more to be found. The drive takes control and makes you do things you don’t normally do. This obsession is just blinding with a mind of its own. Takes possession of one and takes full control. The high is great the thoughts are good but a lot of times it sets us up for failure. The emotion is draining and leaves one with just an empty feel in the end. The thirst and the hunger hardly ever get satisfied. Scary thoughts but history shows that. Best to get off the rollercoaster and take control before it takes me for a ride!

LIVING THE DREAM

2006-01-18T16:38:00.000-06:00

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me. (Kermit the frog)

It all started back in August with a simple goal "Take Dead Aim." Little known that the goal would expand and welcome us all to "Live The Dream!" Learned a lot by seeing the drive and the determination to accomplish things and get them done with resounding resolve. Never looking back and never wavering. The goal was clear and the mission attainable with focus and hard work. The whole experience brought to light what could be done and accomplished. It was amazing to be there and share the moment and the experience. I felt the joy that it brought to witness the nay sayers suddenly praise what was accomplished. We finally belonged no longer overlooked or ridiculed. The feelings that night were amazing and sent me thinking. Why can't I do the same in my life? Why cant I dare to dream? So off I went from having had made no resolutions for the new year to now having some goals. I am at the point in my life where I need to make a choice and move on a path. The dreamer is often laughed at and ridiculed. Why? Shouldn't we have these dreams and strive to make them a reality? Who said we couldn't accomplish these dreams? What do we have to lose? Nothing in life comes easy. Think about it the Wright brothers had these dreams, Thomas Edison dared to dream, so why cant I? What would we have if any of these people didn't dare to dream? The dreamer has taken control with the goals to take dead aim and the idea of living the dream!

MORE THAN JUST A FANTASY

2006-01-12T23:25:00.000-06:00

Oh you can take your time baby
I'm in no hurry
I know I'm gonna get you...

you say that I waste my time
but I can't get you off my mind
no I can't let go ABBA

There you are, this fantasy! The fantasy of what can happen. The fantasy of the day! Though the day has turned into days and the days have turned into weeks and the weeks to months. I pop it open and take a look. I can't help it, I am drawn to it. It's almost and obsession a daily ritual. My heart smiles at the thoughts. The thoughts drift on the fantasy of me sitting there seeing you kicking that sand on your feet. Wondering whats in your mind at the moment with that mischievious smile. Seems like a ponder more than anything. The heart skips and smiles. To have been there watching you play in the sand with the cool breeze blowing through your face. The cool breeze that brings me to the boardwalk and an insight to part of the mystery. There by the water at your side sitting proud. The perfect shot in a cold windy day. The fantasy of being by your side with your arm around me and the joy in your face. Long to be a great memory more than just a fantasy! Take the chance make the fantasy a reality.

WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR WORLD

2005-12-25T03:48:00.000-06:00

The holidays! The hussle and the bussle of the world flying by. No time to stop and think! Then there is a moment of rest and it hits you. The thoughts and the loneliness draw a heavy load. The soul feels empty wanting begging for some fulfilment! Where can one find it? Does it come wrapped in a beautiful christmas gift? Can one drive up the drive-thru and order one companion to fill the void to go? Unfortunately life is not that simple and one must travel this world aimlessly waiting for that connection! The thoughts drift. How can one get to that point again? Not knowing where it will come from and seeing time just pass by. The minutes seem to run so slow and I feel I could have gotten there under other means! But such is not the case. In the slow times one has alot of time to think. The mind plays the vivid memories and the heart lets down the guards and lets the thoughts flow: "What's going on in your world? Its sure is lonesome in mine!"

-ALBERT

NO REGRETS

2005-12-22T21:03:00.000-06:00

My heart pounds. The questions arise. What have I done? Is this right? Did I make a mistake? Should I have not jumped the gun too quickly? Those are just a few questions that came racing to mind. Then I take a deep breath and think: Why not! I always go for what I want! I have nothing to lose! Think of the possibility! Yea the two extreems when life begs to be in the middle. "The happy middle" so they say, but I never been one to stay within the lines, so screw the middle! I'm going for the brass ring again. Won't be the first time I fall flat on my face, but you know just like the other times I will hold no regrets. What other way can you do that, unless you don't go for it. Well come to think of it, its too late since the rendevous is set and the clock is ticking. Just then thought brings a smile to my face and makes my heart pound again. I'm excited and I can't wait for the moment when the connection is made. I check it out again, I pause and think to myself "Yea, good move!" Its good to take a chance and just go for it! Was it the right move? Who knows only time will tell but yet I hold no regrets!

-ALBERT

THANKSGIVING

2005-11-24T21:28:00.000-06:00

Sitting here alone this thanksgiving. Bored with nothing to do. Just wandering around aimlessly. Not really looking, not really concentrating and then I found it. Staring at me like an open invitation. The warm smile calling me. Wow, I was intrigged. Looked and saw that the lights were out and nobody was home. Still felt it was worth taking the shot and said my hellos anyways. Then I heard a response. A southern voice flowed from the smile. It was indeed warm and inviting just as I had felt. Then before you know it, the seconds turn to minutes, the minutes turn to hours and the day had gone from light to dark. Where did the day go? It was lost in the conversation where time didnt seem to exist. What a great feeling that time seemed to stand still. Here I was at the start of the day thinking what should I be thankful for? Little did I know that I found my reasons staring at me this lonely Thanksgiving Day.

ALBERT

THE APPLE OF MY EYE

2005-11-09T20:20:00.000-06:00

How a life gets changed in an instant. Ten years ago you came into my life! I was so proud so full of joy! The months of anticipation had given way to the moment. Still didn't know what was coming. Eagerly waiting and watching then the moment came when you appeared. Seeing the beautiful face as tears of joy rolled down my eyes. I watched in anticipation wanting to know who was about to step into my life. There you were with eyes wide open staring out to the world intriged with the world around you! Heard your voice, I knew you were ok and I stayed comforted the one that brought you. I still remember that day vividly and will never forget it for it is the day you changed my life forever. The moment that you came into my life! Oh how I wish I was there with you now but I know it's not possible. The fate of life. How I long to hold you and be with you! Soon I shall hold you again! Happy Birthday to you, the apple of my eye!

ALBERT

WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN

2005-10-23T20:03:00.000-05:00

When do you know you hit rock bottom? How the hell does it feel? Can it get any worse? Been struggling the last month or so. In some ways I am very happy but in others I feel like when will all this end!? What next? Feel like shouting "someone please just put me out of my misery" but at the same time I feel no one will hear! Where is one to turn to? What is one to do? "One day at a time" some say. But how can one get over the day that never ends? Fell like the the walls have come down all over me. Trapped in my own "groundhog day" trying to get out of the nightmare. I make changes but still end up with the same results. I am running out of changes! When does the nightmare end in the world turned upside down?

ALBERT

THE STRANGER

2005-09-18T15:05:00.000-05:00

Who are we after all? Can we truely describe ourself to others? I started thinking aobut this the other day when I was presented in a situation where I had to introduce myself. We all start with the familiar "Hi, my name is." Then we continue on to the describe a little of our likes and so on and so forth. After this, everyone seems to be content that we now know the stranger amoung us! Could this actually be? After all we dont really divoulge anything, did we? Which brings me to the other point, how many people truely know us? Do we even know who we are? Seems that we all have multiple personalities that we bring out in different situations to different people. Yet we have many more that we don't even show to anyone. Why? Might it be that we are scared of being accepted? Could it be that many people feel the same way and that we are all just freaks but too scared to show it? It becomes confusing trying to keep all these characters in check. Which face do I show now? There is this one face one face that I been wearing more often now and it was one that I had hidden and hardly brought out. But more and more I been feeling more confident with it. More and more I am seeing that its not a scary face as I had thought. So why do we fear and hide the face of the stranger.

ALBERT

LEAP OF FAITH

2005-08-21T20:56:00.000-05:00

Sounds crazy! The thought of leaving it all behind, packing all the bags and moving thousands of miles from home. What is it that drives us? The thoughts of a new life, the new possibilities, the thrill, the excitement of starting all over! Sometimes I feel thats what I need. To get up and leave everything and start anew somewhere else. A place where no-one knows my name! A place where I get to shape myself and live my life. A place where all I have is me to worry about. Is that really what I want? At times I do! It's a scary thought, I know. But think about it, wouldnt we all want to leave something behind and move forward? Dont we all want to take that leap of faith?

I have a friend who just did this. They moved from Alaska to Northern California. Not truely going to where nobody knows their name but to follow love and the possiblities. They are leaving it all behind and going for broke! To live like they were dying! Here wish them the best! It's thrilling to see and I can't wait to see what happens next. Excited to see it work, Best of Luck!

-ALBERT

HAVE I CHANGED DESTINY?

2005-07-21T17:42:00.000-05:00

Found myself freaking out. I didn't know what to do... I liked what I saw and I liked where it was headed, but then it hit me like a freight train! Whats going to happen? Where is this gonna end? The thoughts were endless and I got scared. Wondering if I was ready, if you were ready. Thats when I moved away. Why? I dont know, I think the biggest question was the latter. Was the timing incorrect? Were you available physically, mentally and mostly emmotionally. I spent a while trying to compete with someone who no longer was there. How can one do that? I mean compete with someone not there, with the comparisons, the idealogy, the old attractions, the pain. Is it fair? Fair to someone who is trying to show that they are nothing like that. That they are different. That there is good guys still left in this world. Honest and Truthful. I can't say that is what happened but I envisioned myself going through the same path again. I been pondering as to why I reacted this way. The signs were not fully there so why did it jumped at me? Thinking about it, looks like I was the one making you compete with someone that is no longer there! Could this be it? None-the-less, I tried to go back. Was I late? Did I ruin it the whole momentum? Have I changed destiny? The questions will linger. Guess even the best fall sometimes. So please don't stop here, I've lost my place, but I'm close behind!

CROSSROADS

2005-07-16T20:27:00.000-05:00

Finding myself in a series of decisions. Been hard the last few weeks I've been coming headways into an intersection. So many thing been going on in my life, I don't know what to do. Been searching my soul and been thinking about all the possibilities all the possible out comes and well all the ups and downs. The thoughts bring me out sort of a fantasy. Could this actually happen? Is it best left as a fantasy and not walk down that road? Should I turn and go the other side? Take the safe path of the road with the the tracked wedges. That has been the path that I have taken the last few times. Yes its safe choice but it really leaves me with regrets and with what ifs thoughts! That is not me! Yes, true I am conservative but at the same time I've lived taking chances and following my heart and my thoughts. Its seemed that lately I been taking my eye off the goal! Why is that? Why have I become gun shy? Was it the experiences that resulted on taking chances? Been living day by day just sleep walking going through routines. Not sad but not happy either. Should I take that path less taken and bring back the old me? I been taking the side road and have tried to take the loop around but somehow I end up at the crossroads and a decision must be made. What direction will I go?

JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE!

2005-07-15T10:45:00.000-05:00

I so didn't want to get up this morning. Was a long day yesterday! I worked about 12.5 hours trying to get an implementation done. Afterwards, I call up one of my buddy's who planned to go out and see what he was up to. Ended up dragging along for the evening. The evening it self was uneventful, seems that this town doesn't really live it up on Thursday Nights! Anyhow, didn't end up getting home til about 4:00 am. Thinking, "great I have 3 hours of sleep (normally I do 6) so that shouldn't be too bad." Hell my thoughts were, "I hadn't done this before" and I recall one time I did this i only got 20 minutes of sleep! Well folks reality set in, I am freaking 35 and I aint no spring chicken anymore! What in my wildest dreams ever gave me that idea? Am I nuts? I did manage to crawl out of bed and sit in the bathroom for 10 min thinking, "should I call in late?" "Oh hell," was my thought, "I'm already up!" On comes the shower and slowly I crawl in. The feel of the cool water running through my body, the thoughts of "if I move, I will puke" come to mind as I close my eyes and hold my head under the running water. Finally get the guts to actually start showering and trying to wake up! I end the shower hop out and dry myself. I look in the mirror thinking, "I ain't doing this again!" Quickly the next thought comes to mind, "Well at least not on a 'school' night!" I stagger into my room and look at my bed, so inviting so comfortable. Just like that my eyes dart to the alarm clock cool only 10 minutes late! I lay down on the bed thinking 5 minutes and Ill be revived...Well 13 minutes later and I am dragging along getting dressed and heading out the door. I get to my truck and trek to work. WOW! Why cant traffic be this smooth all the other days! I get to the office in record time and I am really dragging! Look at the clock and it looks like I'm 20 minutes late. I take a deep breath and rest my head on the head rest. I think there is still time to call in sick! Eight minutes later I decide its time to make the walk. The thoughts of "well go in for just a couple of hours then leave!" spring in my head. The idea is giving me new energy and the long walk from the overflow parking lot and up the stairs doesn't seem as long. I get to the door and crap, I forgot my badge in the truck! I look around and sure enough no one around to let me in the building. The new found energy has been used and now I slowly venture back to my truck to get the damn badge! I get there and the thoughts of going home arise again. I grab my badge and start the walk back to the building. Arriving, I swipe the badge and strole down to the elevator. Just my luck the quick elevator is my lucky transporter. I wish the elevator would get stuck! No luck as the doors open to my floor. Stumble out of the elevator and thru the rat maze of cubicles til I get to my rat hole! I sit and slowly log-on and think I so dont want to be here today. I goof around for 30 min 9:00 am. Man is time going by so slowly! Breakfast time, I decide and stroll down to the cafeteria. I cross a friend along the way and the courtious, "How you doing?" With his typical reply..."Just another day in Paradise!" Yep, Just another day in paradise...

GOD I LOVE SCREW-UPS!

2005-07-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

Took a trip recently and was gone for about 12 days. Man, I was going nuts without a computer. Do I actually use it that much? Didn't think I was hooked but I guess that proves I actually am! Anyhow, I was able to visit some friends and enjoy a few nights out and getting drunk. Good to get away but was very hard returning to work. I ask can you actually travel 1200 miles and still be in the same state? I traveled to Houston and spent a weekend with some friends and attended a great event out there during the weekend. Meet a few people and people that I had talked to but never actually met in person. I really enjoyed that part the most. Had a person walk up to me and say hey I've talked to you before online! Was interesting meeting them and recalling all that we have talked about! I hope I get to talk to them some more. I got to pack-up again and Travel north to Big D for some training. My old stomping ground so got to meet up with old friends I hadn't seen in a while. One night got interesting everything seemed to go wrong. We went out to dinner and we had the whole order incorrect so we send it back this time undercooked, then they added something that I asked to exclude! What was going on? You got it wrong twice wouldn't you after two tries come back and make sure you get it right? WRONG! Three strikes your out. It happened I ended up with a couple of beers and a free dinner...God I love screw-ups! The night seemed to be improving! We ended up spending a good $90 in beer so you can imagine...LOL! The week went good and back to Houston for round #2. I ended up going to see Battleship Texas and The San Jacinto Monument. Was great to be amoung so much history. The only issue was the weather! OMG 100+ and Humidity of 70% is not a great thing. Plus no water or drinks were allowed in the battleship! HELLO THIS IS SUMMER IN TEXAS! What do these people think? Anyhow, I finally arrived at home to my beautiful PC waiting for me to use! Its good to be home...

-ALBERT

GOD BLESS AMERICA

2005-07-04T21:31:00.000-05:00

It was amazing, a miracle how this country came to be. The revolutionary war and the American soldiers who had little to no training under a general that didnt have any experience in war! Barely having weapons, no uniforms and didnt even have the proper clothings at time. Facing an opponents who had one of the best Navy's and countless numbers in their Army how could we have won? With all the cards are stacked against you, America stood tall and pride and preseverance. Knowing that defeat was not an option. Amazing but those untrained badly dressed soldiers were able to make history and establish this great land of ours. A land that stands for freedom and defends the tired and oppressed! The same words Honor, Loyalty and Preseverance that our soldiers had during our Revolutionary War is found in our American Soliders today! Thanks to you our American Hero, a valid soldier who puts his life on line everyday to protect this land and give thier lives so that we can be free. Freedom is not free it has been paid by the blood of many American Soldiers who have sacrificed thier lives for our freedom! Freedom to agree or disagree with our government, to say what we please and do as we please! THANKS! God Bless You and keep you safe and God Speed! To our Comander-In-Chief may the Lord grant you the wisdom and guidance to lead us in this times of war. God Bless America!

ITS ALL IN THE NAME

2005-06-15T22:36:00.000-05:00

I got a great email today from a friend. It was a link to a place where you could find out different facts about the day you were born. No its not about what happen but more of what day of the week it was, was it a leap year, what phase of the moon it was. Anyways, in it there was a link to another interesting thing. In this one all you have to do is enter your full name and it would tell you all about you of who you are. I found it very facinating as to what it had to say about me and made me think. "You can make a very fine teacher..." I have head this one before and the fact is that I almost did go into teaching. So seeing this made me look at it more closer and see other things that I think fit my personality. Wow, I thought, can this really be? Is it this simple? We can't change who we are. I started looking at the ups and downs about my life. I tend to be a very trusting person. I like to find the good in everything and give everyone a chance. Some say I am too trusting but the way I see things its bad not to trust someone. Why should I not if someone hasn't given me the reason to mistrust? As you have read in previous posts I been lied to, hurt and decived. Given some of my recent experiences I could easily become reserved, untrusting, and bitter. But what would I gain with doing that? Can we really change who we are? Even though we may try to at times, I think deep down inside we are who we are after all its all in the name!

-ALBERT
_______

There are 16 letters in your name.
Those 16 letters total to 88
There are 7 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 7
The characteristics of #7 are: Analysis, understanding, knowledge, awareness, studious, meditating.
The expression or destiny for #7:Thought, analysis, introspection, and seclusiveness are all characteristics of the expression number 7. The hallmark of the number 7 is a good mind, and especially good at searching out and finding the truth. You are so very capable of analyzing, judging and discriminating, that very little ever escapes your observation and deep understanding. You are the type of person that can really get involved in a search for wisdom or hidden truths, often becoming an authority on whatever it is your are focusing on. This can easily be of a technical or scientific nature, or it may be religious or occult, it matters very little, you pursue knowledge with the same sort of vigor. You can make a very fine teacher, or because of a natural inclination toward the spiritual, you may become deeply emerged in religious affairs or even psychic explorations. You tend to operate on a rather different wavelength, and many of your friends may not really know you very well. The positive aspects of the 7 expression are that you can be a true perfectionist in a very positive sense of the word. You are very logical, and usually employ a quite rational approach to most things you do. You can be so rational at times that you almost seem to lack emotion, and when you are faced with an emotional situation, you may have a bit of a problem coping with it. You have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals. At full maturity you are likely to be a very peaceful and poised individual.

If there is an over supply of the number 7 in your makeup, the negative aspects of the number may be apparent. The chief negative of 7 relates to the limited degree of trust that you may have in people. A tendency to be highly introverted can make you a bit on the self-centered side, certainly very much self-contained . Because of this, you are not very adaptable, and you may tend to be overly critical and intolerant. You really like to work alone, at your own pace and in your own way. You neither show or understand emotions very well.

Your Soul Urge number is: 9
A Soul Urge number of 9 means: With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.

You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.
As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 8
An Inner Dream number of 8 means: You dream of success in the business or political world, of power and control of large material endeavors. You crave authority and recognition of executive skills. Your secret self may have very strong desire to become an entrepreneur.

TREE HUGGERS

2005-06-12T23:42:00.000-05:00

What an ending to the week! I was on another one of my famous Oncall Week from Hell! Monday thru Thursday alone I had put in 13 hours of overtime! If only I got paid for that. Add to my Hell the decision to power down the computer room to update the power supply in there. One thing Servers and Computers don't like is being turned off. Given that news I knew I was going to have the most eventful weekends. So on Friday I go on and start designing a plan for the outtage when as soon as I started getting into it *BUZZZZZZZZZZ! The blaring sound of the fire alarm. Oh great I think another one of those damn fire drills! I walk down the hall and down the stairs, out the door and BAM the smell of gas was very strong! Everyone got out admist the screaming of the evacuators to stay away from the building and move to "X" area. Theres been digging and laying of new pipes going on in and around our building. And lucky for me, I live in a environmentalist city and not to make it any better I work for the state's environmental commission! Turns out that they had the construction company escavate and move a small shrub that was in the way of the digging. Yep a stupid bush cause the evacuation of a building and sent me home early for the day with a huge laundry list of unaccomplished tasks for the power down! So how much is the bush? Turns out they evacuated the building and sent everyone home with 3 hours to go til quiting time! Calculate how much a $100 shrub (and I'm being conservative on theprice) cost by sending about 400 people home for almost half a day and paying them for the time. Yep that measly $100 tree ended up costing the citizens of the Great State of Texas thousands of dollars, the leak of the gas out to the environment and poluting it, and paying the landscaping company for the move just to please those wonderful tree huggers. One can only laugh at the irony! I know I did!

-ALBERT
_________________

Date: Friday - June 10, 2005 3:28 PM
Subject: Evacuation of Building A

Staff have been evacuated from Bldg. A. due to a gas leak outside of the building caused by a landscape company excavating a tree for relocation. Building A employees have been instructed to leave the campus. The Fire Department is on the scene and handling employee safety.

SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THIS

2005-05-22T23:04:00.000-05:00

Life is full of surprises and well thats one thing I like to do. Thought of not calling, but just couldn't do it. A year ago, you got the present and four months later you were under the Texas stars. Thought that was a nice surprise and I hope you enjoyed your birthday present. Try to do something different something that is not being expected. I would like to think that maybe that is what keeps things excited and though it may predictable at times, you just never know when the curve ball is thrown and you have to swing. Seems like today one was thrown at me and thought I go for the hit instead of getting the strike. So picking up the phone and made the call. Thought the norm would be of it and a voicemail would be my greeter but it was a nice surprise to hear a live voice. You probably didn't expect the call but how couldn't I? After all sweet dreams are made of this! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, hope you enjoy your day!

ALBERT

YOU'RE GONNA THINK OF ME

2005-05-14T16:54:00.000-05:00

Been a while since I have updated this. Don't know why but just havent come up with anything. Its not that I havent done anything but just don't know... I been hearing this song lately and really like it. Hope ya'll enjoy it as much as I did! The words are very enpowering and do drive a wedge. Amazing how artist can share such emotion that hits someone in the heart and makes them stop and think! This is one of those songs. Even if you didn't want to think of someone this one will make you! So hit the link, read the words, listen to the song, and watch the memories flow cause you're gonna think of me oh someday baby, someday!

"So take your records, take your freedom

Take your memories I don't need'em

Take your space and all your reasons

But you'll think of me

And take your cat and leave my sweater

'Cause we got nothing left to weather

In fact I'll feel a whole lot better

But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah

And you're gonna think of me

Oh someday baby, someday" -Keith Urban

GREEN GRASS ON MY BAREFEET

2005-05-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

Its great. The image of me as a kid, taking off my shoes and socks and letting my bare feet feel the cool green St. Augustine grass beneath my feet. The sound of the cracking of the grass as I walk. I wrapped up my college courses. I needed to take some courses and decided to make use of the time and take up another course of opportunity. So I ventured into Real Estate. Well have all the required courses out of the way and now all I need is the State Exam for my license. That will be later this month. For now I just relax and try to get myself back in the playing field. Must admit felt strange at first but the like the walk I described above it felt good and relaxing. The playing field dont know how things will ever turn out. Went out to celebrate with a friend last week after my final in class. We saw the movie "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Universe" and then some drinks after. Wass good to share some things with someone while enjoying a nice relaxing "adult beverage" and getting drunk in the moment. Enjoyed the weekend, it had been a while and it was nice to get back in the game. Seems like things are looking up and then the rain started! Talked with a couple of people that are out of town and a quick trip for relaxation and getting away seems in order now. Nice to get out, enjoy life and explore. That will come in a couple of weeks. Then just when I thought it couldn't get better an old friend pops into the picture. We had talked for a few years when we lost touch a little over a year ago. I was online when all of a sudden I get a message from my long lost friend in Orlando. Was wowed since its far from Philadelphia. Turns out its just some training for the week. Was good to reminise on the past and catch up on the happenings on each other lives and the possibilities for a rondevous in the near future. Life is good! Can't help that feeling of looking up at the stars as a kid enjoying the cool night's breeze and the nice crisp green grass on my barefeet!

THE HOUSE BY THE ROAD

2005-04-28T11:49:00.000-05:00

Seems easier this time. Why would that be? Is it that its all gone? Is it that there is nothing left to give? Don't know what it is but things are not the same. Maybe it's the anger or maybe its the reality of the whole situation. I didn't hold much hope since I have been down this road before. Maybe it's the lost hope or maybe its me just openning my eyes to the reality. They say repetition makes perfection and maybe thats what has happened here. It is like the same thing over and over. Well the path seemed more and more familiar and the scenery never changed. Guess that is what brought out the boredom. I am reminded of my 60 mile drives to work I used to do a while back. The first 15 min was intense with the hussle and bussle of the traffic and people getting to work. After those initial 15 min I would hit the skirts of town and the road would open up. With the country setting a house by the road, a pastured with a creek and the animals grazing the land. I would see people heading out of town to a different destination to get away from it all. I would always wonder if these folks would think the same of me. But I was stuck in the same road down the highway with the same house by the road, the same pasture with the creek running down the middle. The scene was the same day in day out. So routine that at times I would arrive and be terrified by the fact that I had arrived. Where did the time go? Where was the traffic? How did I manage to get there without realizing where I was? Terrifing thoughts of what could have happened where the routine had become so monotonous that it lacked feeling and excitement. Many times I longed to be pulled into a different road and a different scene! Change of the landscape. Keep the life exciting. I tried many times to find a different way and always found myself in a roadblock or back to the point I had started out at. Towards the end of my stint at that job, I realized the inevitable that no matter how hard I tried I was destined to the same road with the house by the road, the pasture, and all those people heading out of town to get away from it all while I was stuck going to work. The only way to change the inevitable was to make a change. The change was made and it was the start of one of my difficult times in my life. Maybe I'm headed down the same road I once traveled. But like then the change had to be made. Seems the road had lost that loving feeling. There's no looking back.

LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE

2005-04-20T17:23:00.000-05:00

"Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won" (Jet - Look What You've Done)

You had to go an mess up what little was left. The indecissions have come back to haunt you. Was it good? Well, I guess in certain aspects, yes. The last straw was pulled and it turned out to be the short one. The ball never was returned and there is only so many balls to lose. I've taken my loss and leave before I lose more. Cant have be second guessing. Decissions are never easy I understand but decissions have to be made. Risk sometimes are a must. If only life was easy! I don't know what else to do, so the decission was made for itself. If no one steps up to the plate then why is there the need to pitch? I don't know why I didn't see this before. Maybe it was the false hope or just the lack of reality on my part. But again I've cut off the strings and no longer do I get pulled back. Never did I picture this ending. Look what you've done.

ALBERT

NOW IS THE TIME HOLD NO REGRETS

2005-04-16T13:53:00.000-05:00

Heard a song yesterday, from a band called Dame Violets, that I can't seem to get out of my head. Its seems to be a local/up and coming band that were having a gig out at one of the places by the lake. They did a radio interview and played a song that has made me think. Dont know the whole words and dont know the name. I hope I don't bring it injustice but to their credit and what every musician strives for the words made me stop and think. In the song, they talked about not wanting to go to bed fighting everynight, not wanting to break up after every fight, not wanting to have to make up after each break-up. What does all that mean? I've been thinking much about it. Guessing that we should never hold back. That we should go for what we want and make it happen. To use up all our energy and give it our all. Don't hold anything back. Hold no regrets! That if we end up giving it all you can, you will be able to walk away not having to second guess yourself. Of course there is no guarantees, there never is, but this way we can truely say we gave it all we could. Given all of this, we wouldn't have to come to this endless circle and we would put the relationship in more of a straight line. A path with a beginning and a horizon instead of the same routine and the same issues and the same outcomes. Make the call, send an email, write a message, write a song, make it happen show the passion! If it is ment to go then the only thing we will see is the horizon but if not we will come to the end of a road and being able to look to the past and see the start and how long we traveled, instead of wondering where it all went or how it happened. Now is the time, hold no Regrets!

PROCEED WITH CAUTION

2005-04-15T16:11:00.000-05:00

Forgive me if I'm skeptical, but I been hurt several times. I may seem cold, but I don't know if I can go through it again. My walk has not been easy. Just a few weeks ago when I seemed to spill my guts about the feelings I still had, all I heard were the words "I'm Sorry". What has changed? is part of my questioning. How will it be different? These things are just to make me see and feel before I proceed. Is the ground soft? Will the dirt give way under my feet? Will I fall? That may explain the small steps I take. What is the difference now? So much confusion, so many questions. Questions that we may find so hard to answer, yet we must answer. All the answers come from actions. They tell us what has changed, they show us what they need, and they make us feel what is to come. What is going to happen? I don't know. Is it worth exploring? Yes, but forgive me as I proceed with caution.

SCAR

2005-04-07T16:52:00.000-05:00

Was a year ago. So much was going thru my life. I had just returned from a trip that took me through the Highs and Lows and back to the Highs again. Juggling a move to a new city, the end of a job, and the emmotions of a new found love. Amazing how time just seems to slip on by. The new city seems old, the old job is all but forgotten, and the the new found love has run out. Hard at times to look back and ponder especially in this ever changing world. Love, War, Election, Revelations, Break-ups, so much has happened. Was it good? Will the next year bring something different? Will it be more of the same? Looking back, I see and feel some of the emmotions of the previous year. As anyone would say, I enjoyed the Highs! Just wish the High would have been at the end instead of the early part to the Middle. Now Im left still in the Lows. Slowly one can come out of the dark and try to experience that high again. I recall the highs and the joys it brought. The feel of being invinsible, the joys of being wanted, the feel of being needed. But like all things there is a beginning and there is always an end. One never knows what the future holds but one must live it out anyways. They say the first cut is always the deepest. Its hard to feel and see if the bleeding will ever stop? Feels like a scab where it has replaced the cut but yet the little things remove the scab and the blood starts it flowing. But know that the scab starts to get smaller and smaller and the healing begins but like most deep cuts the scab leaves a scar that will always be a reminder of the cut and the high times.

ALBERT

FRIENDSHIP

2005-04-04T17:26:00.000-05:00

Back from a weekend away. On this latest trip, I got to visit with some friends. Things have changed for me so much. No longer do I find myself going to a bar and just standing in the corner observing. It seems now that I have broken thru and now actually hang around with some friends while we have a drink, share a laugh and observe and take on the environment. I did used to enjoy my favorite corner but things seem different now in the corner. It seems kinda isolated. Good to venture out and meet and mingle. Although I do like lay low and observe people and see what reactions come out, I am more of a social person and this side seems more enjoyable. True this may not be at my hometown but in someways seems like I am at my hometown. Weird but I dont have the same in the town I actually live. Well no problems there, that will soon change as well. I spent 11 months in a town without having many friends and I go to a city 180 miles away and have more friends there than the actual city I live in? Weirder is I never lived in that city. I talked about how the fact that the city has a different atmosphere and a different vibe. What is it that brings out the friendliness? How is it that one city can be so different than another? The funny thing is that I always refered to this city as not being a part of Texas. (http://www.guestlife.com/houston/) Well none the less my life has changed and seems like I keep looking forward to the next get-away! I owe it all to two great friends who have openly welcomed me into their circle and given me the honor of their friendship!

THE WORLD NEXTDOOR

2005-03-30T11:20:00.000-06:00

Ever stop and ponder on things? How much the world has evolved, population growth, inventions, discoveries, technologies, etc. Well got my self pondering the ideas of technology and communications. I mean where were we just 100 years ago? Communications have come a long way. The telephone, radio, and Television all have expanded our knowledge and have brought the world to our feet. They all have had a happy medium but none have been able to give us as much as the computer and this wonderful internet has. Where could we post a message and have millions of people from all over the world read and respond to? This new medium has opened up so much but yet we feel so alone! When have we had so much opportunities? Internet dating, finding your match that was once such a distance away or you didn't know they existed now all of a sudden are brought to your fingertips. Meeting people of different cultures ideas and those in different worlds with the same thinkings as you. Stop and realize what you are doing. You are actually communicating with people at a great distance and making it seem like they are right here next to you. Instant messaging, Camming, Voice over net capabilities. Amazing what technology has done. We can actually go on and immediately find love over the lines. (http://www.mailorderbrides.com/) So why with so much technology are we still so lonely? Maybe its because even though we have the world nextdoor, reality is when you open the door, the world is not that close.

-ALBERT

VACATION FROM THE VACATION

2005-03-22T13:59:00.000-06:00

You ever find yourself going off to a vacation and planning so much that when you are done with it your exhausted? Well exactly how I feel. Really enjoyed the vacation but it got to the point that when i got home I needed a vacation from the vacation! The days were great had a lot of fun meeting new people. People I had talked to for a while but had never had the opportunity to meet. All the planned events were fun and worth a laugh. Got to enjoy a movie and a couple of hours out at the lake as well. Turns out that there was this group out there having a sailing racing going on. The sail boats were the miniture kind and its amazing to see how much people put into their toys! Some could have easily been worth 1000+ with all the accessories and all. One of the guys there forgot to turn on the signal and almost lost his boat. Now that would have made his day, huh? In all everything turned out good, the weather cooperated and all seemed to have fun. Looking forward to the next event and making new friends! Just will plan better and take a day off at the end of the next vacation!

ALBERT

WHEN IS TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH?

2005-03-16T18:55:00.000-06:00

I am so ready for my trip. Been excited and nervous as hell. Never done a full blown event. What gets me nervous is the unexpected or the perseptions of such events. My friend drives in tonight and we take off to Dallas in the morning. I sit here debating on what to do. Should I let my hair down and let loose or should I be my normal reserved more conservative self? I would like to experience the wild side and totally let go! Now that is scary, what would result of that? What impression will that give? Will I end up regretting the whole thing later? Knowing myself, I will probably just end up regretting being my cautious self and not having done anything at all. Really don't want that. I am going to have fun, drink, and make some friends. So maybe the answer is a happy median. But what if you can't get started or what if you enjoy it so much that you can't stop? Where does the line get drawn? When is too much, too much? (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=indulge)

ALBERT

THE SUN RAYS

2005-03-14T18:56:00.000-06:00

Well it happened after having six consecutive weekends with rain, we finally get a full weekend of sun. Was good to experience. Nice to see the brightness and feel the warmth. Got to get out and do some exploring. Took a trip to the LBJ Presidential Library and take a different look at how some might have lived their lives during different era. Stood atop the building in Lady Bird's office looking across the University of Texas Campus to downtown and seeing a clear view of the State Capital (http://www.woodcop.com/ptx_lbj_lib155.htm). Thinking of her love for wildflowers and the beautification efforts she put forth during her time as first lady (http://www.pbase.com/richo/bluebonnets&page=all). Then observing the landscape, seems like the wildflowers popped up overnight. All the rain has provided for a plentiful sight. Thought of taking a drive out the countryside and enjoy the rolling hills and the many colors along the side of the road. Would have been nice to experience after a long hard week! The temperature seems to be shooting up quickly. Like the wildflowers, soon it will be time for me to head out to the lake and let the body soak up the sun rays!

BURNED OUT

2005-03-08T18:37:00.000-06:00

Here we are only Tuesday, day 2 on my On-Call schedule, and already I'm burned out. Been awake since 4:45am working on system problems. With no end in sight I feel so exhausted. I still have college tonight and wont be home until 10:30pm. I have a Test tomorrow in my MW class. Still need to study so looks like no sleep tonight. I hope this darn pager doesnt go off again. I recall that commercial when I was a kid "Calgon, Take me away!" Can sure use a massage, a mental break and the arms of a lover to rest my head. Sad to report none of those will be home waiting for me when I finally arrive at home tonight. Just a cold empty place. Look forward to Monday when I give away this pager off to the next victim. I am so ready. With Spring Break aproaching next week and a long planned trip. I picture myself relaxing enjoying friends and the beer that is flowing. The dream is shattered by the sound of the pager going off. Yet another issue to take care off! If only there was a pager I could ring when I feel BURNED OUT! (http://www.psychwww.com/mtsite/smburnt.html)

ALBERT

EVERYBODY'S CHANGING

2005-03-03T20:46:00.000-06:00

"You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it I don't see how you can
You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why" (Everybody's Changing - Keane www.keaneband.com)

Tough to keep up with the changes. Just when you think that you got things under control things change. Hard to see the changes but you have to if you would like to stay afloat and in the game. Seems like we're constantly playing catch-up. Who is making all these changes and why? What is wrong with the way things are going? Guess we all do need some changes sometimes but just as you are adjusting the change is too late and another change is required. "Trying to make a move just to stay in the game." Everybody's changing and I am just trying to find the one that will stop this ever changing world and enjoy it with me!

ALBERT

SCREW YOU WE'RE FROM TEXAS!

2005-03-02T14:47:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday Texas!

This great state of ours became a nation in 1836. Today is Texas Independence Day. Thought I would write something on that since I am a Proud Texan (as many of you know). Consider myself lucky to be in such a great state. Where else are people this friendly? A state that has everything, from mountains to plains to desert to forrest to beaches. Where can I find it all? Land is vast and plentiful. Where else can I drive all day and still be in in the same state? What more can I say? I love Texas and though I love to travel, I'm always happy when my ass lands back home in TEXAS! To those that think we're arrogant and stupid: Screw You We're From Texas!

"Now I love the USA and the other states they're OK
Texas is the place I wanna be and I don't care if I ever go toDelaware anyway'
Cause we got Stubbs, Gruene Hall and Antones, and John T's Country Store
We've got Willie and Jacky Jack, Robert Earl, Pat, Cory, Charlie and me and so many more.

So screw you, we're from Texas
So screw you, we're from Texas
So screw you, we're from Texas
We're from Texas, so screw you!" (http://www.rockzilla.net/cooper17.html)

So (http://www.lsjunction.com/midi/songs.htm)

Honor the Texas flag, I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one and indivisible.

Texas, Our Texas

Texas, Our Texas! all hail the mighty State!
Texas, Our Texas! so wonderful so great!
Boldest and grandest, withstanding ev'ry test
O Empire wide and glorious, you stand supremely blest.

[CHORUS]
God bless you Texas! And keep you brave and strong,
That you may grow in power and worth, throughout the ages long.
God bless you Texas! And keep you brave and strong,
That you may grow in power and worth, throughout the ages long.

Texas, O Texas! your freeborn single star,
Sends out its radiance to nations near and far,
Emblem of Freedom! it set our hearts aglow,
With thoughts of San Jacinto and glorious Alamo. [to chorus]

Texas, dear Texas! from tyrant grip now free,
Shines forth in splendor, your star of destiny!
Mother of heroes, we come your children true,
Proclaiming our allegiance, our faith, our love for you. [to chorus]

THE ANSWERS COME

2005-02-25T14:08:00.000-06:00

The thought of a first meeting gets me nervous. Why? Dont know. Been talking to them for a while but never have met. So why does the event get me all wound-up? Good question. The thoughts in my head is will the conversation flow smoothly? Will we get along? Was it what we were expecting? If you think about it all those questions have been answered. The conversations flow smoothly already. We have been talking for several months so guess we do get along. Was it what we were expecting? Hmmm thats the question I guess. But then again I am not expecting anything. Just the feel of finally getting to talk to someone face to face and share a beer. So why is it that people get so nervous in the wake of a first meeting? So many question with little answers. Guess the answers come this weekend.

ALBERT

YOU HAVE TO LEARN SOMEHOW

2005-02-21T01:24:00.000-06:00

It's hard at times to figure it out. I thought I could be different and thought that I knew what I was doing. Maybe I over estimated myself. I do admit it was harder than I thought it would be. I fell and I got up. I tripped but kept walking. Don't know what it was but maybe it was just the play on words. Sometimes it's not the best way but it seems to always have an end and a lesson learned. I look at the clock and see that its time. Didn't realize how much the time had passed. The sun has set and the day has passed. Never wanted to overstay the welcome. So I'll get up and show myself to the door. Know I always heard your cry and the words that you never spoke. Maybe someday the knock will be answered again and I'll be able to stay awhile. But then that knock may never be heard again and the silence will be deafning. After all You got to learn somehow...

ALBERT

CUPID

2005-02-15T00:39:00.000-06:00

Happy Valenties Day!

The day of romance and love. Well I thought thought that until I read this article (I've attached it bellow). Talks about the shock that people would have if presented with this! But it all makes sense. I was listening to the radio this morning on my way to work. Well they thought that they would have a ultimate wedding (rings, chapel, Justice of the Peace, Limo, Honeymoon, etc) and give it to a couple that had been waiting forever and one of the side had had enough and said marry me or leave. Well, I thought this was pretty bad and you never know what will happen. Well to make a long story short, this couple had been dating for 11 yrs the girlfriend had enough so they contacted the guy. After a few minutes they lose the guy. Turns out he hung up. Guess that didn't go as planned. Then tonight I saw a clip of a guy who wants to surprise this girl and propose in the court of an Orlando Magic game. Well this is the classic big present, guy pops out and gets on one knee and proposes. Well again things go bad. The girl is in shock and then just turns around and leaves. Left the guy with the ring in the basketball court!

Whats going on in this world? Has cupid lost his eye sight and hit the wrong people? Hope not! Still a big romantic guy here and borrowing a line from a great song "Cupid draw back your bow And let your arrow go Straight to my lover's heart for me..." http://www.jacquedee63.com/cupid.html

Hope your valentine made you feel special and not just this one day!

ALBERT

__________

He loves you not: Valentine's hype can force tough decisions

The holiday creates so much pressure that it's a common time for relationships to end.

They're the Valentine's Day gifts no one asks for: a note slipped under the door that reads "I'm taking my freedom back." Or 25 votive candles with the comment, "The flame has died." Sometimes it's just the ring of a phone and the terse message, "We're through."

Those on the receiving end of such presents might want to break Cupid's arrows, since Valentine's Day breakups are becoming more common. As many as half of dating couples split up on Cupid's big day, estimates Jodi Smith, etiquette expert and president of Mannersmith Consulting.

The main reason Valentine's Day breakups are so frequent, culture watchers agree, is that the much-hyped holiday creates so much pressure and so many expectations. The ubiquitous ads for long-stemmed roses, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, and flowery cards prompt many to think of all the reasons they don't want to remain half of a couple.

But there's disagreement on whether breaking up on Feb. 14 is acceptable behavior or unforgivably cruel.

Ms. Smith doesn't see anything wrong with Valentine's goodbyes, but does think that how they're handled is important.

"There is no need to keep hanging on to something that is not working," she says. "It is perfectly acceptable to break up on Valentine's, [but] dumping champagne on your date, creating a scene, and storming out of the restaurant is poor form. The polite person thinks before speaking and considers the venue before offering a carefully worded exit speech. No need to demean the person while dumping them. Leave the dumpee with a shred of self-respect and a box of chocolates."

Ria Romano of Boca Raton, Fla., didn't follow that advice and still feels bad about how she handled her Valentine's Day split a few years ago. She and her boyfriend had been dating about three months when he planned a romantic, expensive evening.
He buzzed her apartment intercom and asked her to come downstairs, adding, "I have two dozen red roses for you."

Ms. Romano, although dressed for the date, surprised herself by saying, "I know it's Valentine's Day, but I'm not going." She ended the relationship while he stood in the lobby. To make matters worse, Feb. 14 was also his birthday.

"I know that's really, really bad," she says, "but I suddenly heard this little voice in my head saying, 'He's not the one.' I felt so guilty, but I also felt relieved that I didn't have to go to dinner.
"Valentine's Day puts so much pressure on people," she adds. "There's a lot of anxiety that you don't get with Christmas or New Year's."

Ms. Smith has heard such comments many times before. Her advice to Romano and others is: "Don't be too hard on yourself." Yes, it's better to break things off several weeks beforehand, but the culture encourages just the opposite. Dumping is the symptom, she says, not the underlying problem.

"We live in a society where people routinely spill their guts on the Internet or on national television shows, but there's very little self-awareness," she says. "We feel as if we need to act on an emotion as soon as we acknowledge that emotion."

Social scientists agree. "People are notorious for not being strong enough to sit a partner down and say, 'I'm sorry, it's over,' " says Barry Kuhle, assistant professor of psychology at Lebanon Valley College in Annville, Pa. Rather than dealing with a situation directly, they procrastinate until something forces the issue, and Valentine's Day does just that.

"It's almost worse and more offensive to mislead the other person by going out on a date and going through the motions," he says, explaining the mindset of many who break up on Feb. 14.
Dr. Kuhle, who proposed to his fiancée on Valentine's Day 2003, notes that dumpers aren't always motivated by altruism.

"The dark side of human nature is indeed dark," he says, in reference to research he conducted at the University of Texas at Austin for a dissertation called "Cues to Commitment." That research reveals five reasons that a man - men do most of the dumping - may end a relationship on Valentine's Day:

1. He's not interested in a deep, committed relationship and doesn't want to lead the woman on.
2. He's scared about the escalation of commitment that often comes with sharing Valentine's Day with a woman.
3. He doesn't want to waste time and/or money on a relationship he thinks won't last.
4. He's dating several women simultaneously and the obligations of the day - dinner, date, etc. - force him to choose one woman and dump the other(s).
5. He's worried that publicly sharing Valentine's Day with a woman will reduce his ability to play the field.

No age group is immune to Cupid's coldhearted surprises: People in their 20s break up because they feel they have plenty of time to find better options, say observers. Thirty-somethings often have a goal in mind and cut their losses quickly if they don't like their prospects. Those 40 and older may feel pressure to find the right mate.

There are so many reasons to blame good old Cupid, it seems. Even teenagers feel the sting of his poor aim.

Kelli, who has asked that her last name not be used, still remembers the competition that Valentine's Day inspired among girls in school. The more flowers or balloons a girl received, the more popular and worthy she was considered.

Kelli always hated Valentine's Day for that reason, but in her junior year of high school, her feelings about the day changed. She was dating a senior, and "for the first time, I was looking forward to it," she says.

Her hopes were dashed the night of Feb. 13, though, when she asked her sweetie how he wanted to celebrate.

His answer: "Actually, I don't want to be in a relationship anymore." His mother told her he didn't want to buy a gift.

Kelli's only solace was that fact that the two of them have remained friends and she can remind him of his dastardly deed, and still does, nine years later. "You have to make good use of these things," she says, laughing.

But for some people, there's nothing funny about breaking up on Valentine's Day, regardless of how much pressure dumpers feel.

"Holidays carry memories with them, and no matter how much compassion and good taste someone thinks they are using when they break up with a lover, a breakup hurts, and doing it on Valentine's Day wrecks the day for years to come," says April Masini, author of the "Ask April" advice column. "If a breakup is inevitable, do it the day before - or even the day after. This kind of scheduling is far more compassionate."

Others put it in much blunter terms. "I suggest you break up at least one month before to avoid a lot of fallout," says Stefan Feller, author of the forthcoming book "How to Break Up, Without Breaking a Sweat."

"A guy who breaks up with a woman on Valentine's is automatically eligible for the sleazeball hall of fame," he says. "A woman who breaks up with a guy on V-Day just gives him another reason to hate the day."

Cupid, consider yourself warned.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=2358&ncid=2358&e=6&u=/csm/20050214/ts_csm/cbye_1

TODAY IN HISTORY

2005-02-10T20:56:00.000-06:00

HISTORY. One of my favorite subjects. I enjoy reading the column in the paper of "Today In History". Well on Tuesday, February 10th 1970 at 10:48 p.m. in Laredo, Texas, yours truely was born. So this entry will be huge since I will put a Today in History. Pretty interesting things...

ALBERT

____________

1763 The French and Indian War ends
-The Seven Years' War, a global conflict known in America as the French
and Indian War, ends with the signing of the Treaty of Paris by France,
Great Britain, and Spain.

1846 Mormons begin exodus to Utah
-Their leader assassinated (Joseph Smith) and their homes under attack,
the Mormons of Nauvoo, Illinois, begin a long westward migration (under
the leadership of Brigham Young) that eventually brings them to the valley
of the Great Salt Lake in Utah.

1861 Davis learns he is president
-Jefferson Davis receives word that he has been selected president of
the new Confederate States of America.

1887 First U.S. actor to perform in two cities on one day
-For the first time, an American actor performs in two cities on the
same day. Nathaniel Carr Goodwin performed in Turned Up in Boston in the
morning, then dashed to New York City to perform in the The Mascot at 8 p.m.

1942 Japanese sub bombards Midway
-On this day, a Japanese submarine launches a brutal attack on Midway,
a coral atoll used as a U.S. Navy base. It was the fourth bombing of the atoll
by Japanese ships since December 7. The Battle of Midway was a disaster
for Japan, and was the turning point for ultimate American victory in the Pacific.

1958 Elvis ballad tops charts
-Elvis Presley's ballad "Don't" becomes his ninth No. 1 single since
"Heartbreak Hotel" first topped the charts in 1956. He recorded "Don't" in September
while cutting his first Christmas album. Elvis would achieve a record-breaking 17 top
singles: to this day, he remains second only to the Beatles in number of chart toppers.

Also on this day...
0060 St Paul thought to have been shipwrecked at Malta
1098 Crusaders defeat Prince Redwan of Aleppo at Antioch
1535 12 nude Anabaptists run through Amsterdam streets
1549 Tomé de Sousa appointed Governor-General of Brazil
1635 Académie Française is founded in Paris (by Cardinal Richelieu)
1676 Wampanoag Indians under King Philip kill all men in Lancaster MA
1713 Netherlands & England sign accord concerning anti-French Barrier
1716 Scottish pretender to the throne James III Edward returns to France
1720 Edmund Halley appointed 2nd Astronomer Royal of England
1746 English Pelham government resigns
1749 10th (final) volume of Fielding's "Tom Jones" is published
1763 Treaty of Paris ends French-Indian War, surrenders Canada to England
1774 Andrew Becker demonstrates diving suit
1794 Joseph Haydn's 99th Symphony in E, premieres
1807 US Coast Survey authorized by Congress
1824 Simon Bolívar named dictator by the Congress of Perú
1840 British queen Victoria marries her cousin Albert von Saksen-Coburg
1846 British defeat Sikhs in battle of Sobraon, India
1846 Beginning of Mormon march to west US
1855 US citizenship laws amended all children of US parents born abroad
granted US citizenship 1859 General Horsford defeats Begum of Oude & Nana
Sahib in Indian mutiny
1860 John Brahms' 2nd Serenade in A, premieres
1862 Dutch 2nd government of Thorbecke forms
1863 1st US fire extinguisher patent granted to Alanson Crane, Virginia
1863 PT Barnum stages wedding of Tom Thumb & Mercy Lavinia Warren (New York NY)
1866 Dutch government Frans van der Putte forms
1868 Conservatives & military, seize Convention Hall in Florida
1870 City of Anaheim incorporates (1st time)
1870 YWCA (Young Women's Christian Association) is founded (New York NY)
1878 Peace of Zanjón
1878 Peter Tchaikovsky's 4th Symphony in F, premieres
1879 1st electric arc light used (California Theater)
1879 Henry Morton Stanley departs to the Congo
1880 Pope Leo XIII publishes encyclical Arcanum about Christian marriage
1881 Jacques Offenbach's opera "Les Contes d'Hoffman" premieres in Paris
1882 Rimski-Korsakovs opera "Snyegurochka" premieres in St Petersburg
1883 Fire at un-insured New Hall Hotel in Milwaukee WI, kills 71
1890 Around 11 million acres, ceded to US by Sioux Indians opens for settlement
1897 New York Times begins using slogan "All the News That's Fit to Print"
1899 -39ºF (-39ºC), Milligan OH (state lowest temperature record)
1899 US-Spain peace treaty signed by President McKinley; US gets Puerto Rico & Guam
1900 Peter Ostlund skates world record 500 meter (45.2 seconds)
1904 Japan & Russia declares war after Japan's surprise attack on Russian fleet at
Port Arthur disabled 7 Russian warships
1906 Britain's 1st modern & largest battleship "HMS Dreadnought" launched
1906 State of siege proclaimed in Zululand
1908 Tommy Burns KOs Jack Palmer in 4 for heavyweight boxing title
1912 Hobbs & Rhodes make 323 cricket opening stand vs Australia at MCG
1913 Edward Sheldons "Romance" premieres in New York NY
1916 Conscription begins in Britain
1917 Johanna Westerdijk installed as Netherlands 1st female professor
1920 Baseball outlaws all pitches involving tampering with the ball
1923 Ink paste manufactured for 1st time by Standard Ink Company
1923 Owen Davis' "Icebound" premieres in New York NY
1923 SDAP speaks out against allied occupation of Ruhrgebied
1924 Bucky Harris, 27, becomes youngest baseball manager (Washington Senators)
1925 1st waterless gas storage tank put into service, Michigan City IN
1925 AL decides to alternate leagues for game 1 of World Series each year
1926 Building of Olympian Stadium Amsterdam, begins
1927 President Coolidge asks for 2nd disarmament conference
1930 Grain Stabilization Corporation authorized by Congress
1931 New Delhi becomes capital of India
1931 Richard Rodgers/Lorenz Harts premieres in New York NY
1933 -54ºF (-48ºC), Seneca OR (state record)
1933 Delivery of 1st singing telegram (Postal Telegram Company NYC)
1933 Dutch sea-plane bombs Dutch ship
1933 Hitler proclaims end of Marxism
1933 Mutiny on "7 Provinces" ends (began Feb 4th), 23 killed
1934 Byrd souvenir sheet issued, NYC; 1st unperforated ungummed US stamp
1934 1st Jewish immigrant ship to break the English blockade in Palestine
1934 Howard Hanson's "Merry Mount" premieres in New York NY
1934 Stalin ends 17th CPSU-congress, says "Life becomes merrier"
1934 Thomson/Gertrude Stein's opera "Four Saints in Three Acts" premieres in
New York NY
1935 Pennsylvania RR begins passenger service on new streamlined electric locomotive
1937 Ragnhild Hveger swims world free style record 400 meter (5:14.2)
1938 King Carol II of Romania drives out dictator Goga
1940 "In The Mood" by Glenn Miller hits #1
1940 Tom & Jerry created by Hanna & Barbera debut by MGM
1940 US female Figure Skating championship won by Joan Tozzer
1940 US male Figure Skating championship won by Eugene Turner
1941 1st highway post office makes 1st trip, Washington DC-Harrisonburg, VA
1941 Anti-Nazi "Het Parool" begins publishing in Netherlands
1943 "Manifesto of Algerian People" calls for equality & self-determination
1943 8th Army sweeps through North Africa to Tunisia
1943 Van der Veen Resistance starts fire in Amsterdam employment bureau
1944 Belgium resistance fighter/author Kamiel van Baelen arrested 1944
U-666/U-545/U-283 sink off Ireland
1945 "Rum & Coca Cola" by Andrews Sisters hits #1
1946 1st black pro-baseball player Jackie Robinson marries Rachel Isum
1947 Italy cedes most of Venezia Giulia to Yugoslavia
1947 Province of Petsamo returned to Soviet Union by Finland
1947 Netherlands Radio Union forms
1947 WWII peace treaties signed
1948 Greek General Markos' guerrilla army bombs Saloniki
1949 Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman" opens at Morosco Theater, NYC
1951 "John & Marsha" by Stan Freberg peaks at #21
1951 Shah of Persia marries 19 year old Soraja Esfandiara Bakhtiari
1953 Ice Dance Championship at Davos won by Jean Westwood & Lawrence Demmy
of Great Britain
1953 Ice Pairs Championship at Davos won by Jennifer & John Nicks of Great Britain
1953 Ladies Figure Skating Championship in Davos won by Tenley Albright USA
1953 Men's Figure Skating Champion in Davos won by Hayes Alan Jenkins USA
1954 Eisenhower warns against US intervention in Vietnam
1954 Ice Dance Championship at Oslo won by Jean Westwood/Lawrence Demmy
Great Britain
1954 Ice Pairs Championship at Oslo won by Frances Dafoe/Norris Bowden CAN
1954 Ladies Figure Skating Championship in Oslo won by Gundi Busch Germany
1954 Men's Figure Skating Championship in Oslo won by Hayes Alan Jenkins US
1956 "My Friend Flicka" premieres on CBS (later NBC) TV
1956 Elvis Presley records "Heartbreak Hotel" for RCA
1957 Fay Crocker wins LPGA Serbin Golf Open
1957 Southern Christian Leadership Conference forms
1959 Dutch Princess Wilhelmina publishes "Lonely, but not alone"
1959 Tornado in St Louis kills 19 & injures 265
1960 "Unsinkable Molly Brown" closes at Winter Garden NYC after 532 performances
1960 Charles Ives' "Lincoln, the Great Commoner" premieres
1961 AFL's Los Angeles Chargers move to San Diego
1961 Niagara Falls hydroelectric project begins producing power
1961 Walter Piston's 7th Symphony, premieres
1962 Jim Beatty sets American indoor mile record (3 minutes 58.9 seconds) in Los Angeles CA
1962 USSR swaps spy Francis Gary Power to US for Rudolph Abel
1963 Mickey Wright wins LPGA St Petersburg Women's Golf Open
1963 US female Figure Skating championship won by Lorraine Hanlon
1963 US male Figure Skating championship won by Thomas Litz
1964 Australian destroyer "Voyager" sinks in collision, killing 82
1964 Destroyer Voyager sinks off Australia after colliding with aircraft carrier Melbourne
1964 WBGU TV channel 27 in Bowling Green OH (PBS) begins broadcasting
1966 Harmel government in Belgium resigns
1967 25th Amendment (Presidential Disability & Succession) in effect
1968 "Spooky" by Classics IV hits #3
1968 Peggy Fleming wins Olympics figure skating gold medal, Grenoble, France
1969 LSU Pete Maravich scores 66, despite losing to Tulane 101-94
1970 Dry powder avalanche moving at 120 mph smashes into youth hostel
killing 40 Belgian, French, & German youths (Val d'Isere, France)
1970 26.4 cm precipitation falls on Mount Washington NH (state record)
1971 American Mensa, Ltd incorporates in New York
1971 John Guares "House of Blue Leaves" premieres in New York NY
1971 Royal Albert Hall bans scheduled concert featuring Frank Zappa
1972 BBC bans "Give Ireland Back to the Irish" by Wings
1972 Ras al Khaima joins the United Arab Emirates
1972 USSR performs nuclear test at Eastern Kazakhstan/Semipalitinsk USSR
1973 2nd time Rangers shut-out Islanders 6-0
1973 83 meter wide gas tank on Staten Island NY explodes, crushing 40
1973 Mushtaq Mohammad follows up 201 to take 5-49 vs New Zealand Dunedin
1974 Silver futures hit record $4.81½ an ounce in London
1974 "Gigi" closes at Uris Theater NYC after 103 performances
1974 Gail Denenber wins LPGA Sears Women's Golf Classic
1974 Iran/Iraqi border fight breaks out
1974 Judy Ikenberry wins 1st Us women's marathon (2:55:17)
1975 William "Judy" Johnson selected to baseball Hall of Fame
1977 Yehonathan Netanyou Lane in the Bronx named in honor of Bronx-born
Israeli soldier who died freeing hostages in Entebbe Raid (1976)
1977 "Party with Comden & Green" opens at Morosco Theater NYC for 92 performances
1977 Bomb explosion in Moskouse metro
1978 Frank C Carlucci succeeds John F Blake as deputy director of CIA
1979 "Da Ya Think I'm Sexy?" by Rod Stewart peaks at #1
1979 Border is named 12th man for Australia, only Test Cricket he missed
1980 Ianford Wilsons "Talley's Folly" premieres in New York NY
1980 Jane Blalock wins LPGA Elizabeth Arden Golf Classic
1981 8 killed & 198 injured by fire at Las Vegas Hilton
1981 33rd NHL All-Star Game Campbell beat Wales 4-1 at Los Angeles CA
1981 Dennis Lillee becomes Australian Cricket's top wicket-taker with 249
1982 28 skiers perform backflips while holding hands, Bromont Québec
1983 Anglican synod vote 338-100 against unilateral UK nuclear disarmament
1985 -61ºF (-52ºC), Maybell CO (state record)
1985 Challenger moves to Vandenberg AFB for mating of STS 51-E mission
1985 35th NBA All-Star Game West beats East 140-129 at Indiana
1985 Andrea Schöne skates ladies world record 5 km (7:32.82)
1985 Patty Sheehan wins LPGA Sarasota Golf Classic
1985 USSR performs nuclear test at Eastern Kazakhstan/Semipalitinsk USSR
1986 John Lennon's "Live in NYC" album is released
1987 Philippine troops murder 17 civilians-Lupao Massacre
1988 3-judge panel of 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco
strikes down Army's ban on homosexuals (later overturned by appeal)
1988 Rocky Malebane-Metsing coup in Bophuthatswana fails
1989 Miami Vice's 100th episode seen on TV
1989 Minor League Football System opens organizational meeting, St Louis MO
1989 To gain deregulation WWF admits pro wrestling is an exhibition & not a sport,
in a New Jersey court
1989 Celtic Kansas City Jones & Cavalier Lenny Wilkens elected to NBA Hall of Fame
1989 Ron Brown chosen 1st black chairman of a major US party (Democrats)
1989 Test Cricket debut of Aaqib Javed, Pakistan vs New Zealand age 16 years 189 days
1989 Tony Robinson of Jamaica becomes Nottingham's 1st black sheriff
1989 US performs nuclear test at Nevada Test Site
1990 Buster Douglas KOs Mike Tyson in 10 to become heavyweight boxing champion
1990 Perrier Water pulls product from shelf due to benzene in water
1990 South Africa President de Klerk announces Nelson Mandela will be free Feb 11th
1990 6th Largest wrestling crowd (63,900-Tokyo Dome)
1990 US female Figure Skating championship won by Jill Trenary
1991 NBA All Star Game at Charlotte NC
1991 "La Bete" opens at Eugene O'Neill Theater NYC for 24 performances
1991 41st NBA All-Star Game East beats West 116-114 at Charlotte
1991 Beth Daniel wins LPGA Phar-Mor at Inverrary Golf Tournament
1991 Johann Koss skates world record 10 km (13:43.54)
1991 Lithuania votes for independence from USSR
1992 "Dangerous Women" final episode on WWOR-TV
1992 Bonnie Blair wins 1992 Olympics 1st gold medal for the USA
1992 Mike Tyson convicted of raping Desiree Washington in Indiana
1993 "Michael Jackson Talks To Oprah Winfrey" airs on ABC & drew an astounding 39.3 rating/56 share, 90 million people
1993 Jani Sievinen swims world record 200 meter backstroke (1:55.59)
1993 US officially backs peace plan in Bosnia
1995 Chelsi Smith, 21, (Texas), crowned 44th Miss USA
1995 Sun Cayun pole vaults female indoor world record (4.12 meters)
1995 US female Figure Skating championship won by Nicole Bobek
1996 IBM's Deep Blue defeats chess champion Gary Kasparov
1997 13th Soap Opera Digest Awards
1997 5th annual ESPY Awards presented
1997 Comet Shoemaker-Holt 2 Closest Approach to Earth (1.9245 AU)
1997 Lemrick Nelson found guilty in the fatal stabbing on Hasidic Jew Yankel Rosenbaum in Crown Heights Brooklyn in 1991
1997 O J Simpson jury reaches decision on $25 million in punitive damages
1997 Soyuz TM-25 launches to the MIR
1998 AOL raises monthly flat rate Internet access from $19.95 to $21.95
1998 Olympics figure skater Peggy Fleming undergoes breast cancer surgery

Birthdates which occurred on February 10:
1609 Sir John Suckling English Cavalier poet/dramatist/courtier
1637 Henriëtte Catharina van Nassau Dutch daughter of Frederik Henry
1670 Norbert van Flowers [Cephalus], Flemish painter
1670 William Congreve England, restoration writer (Old Bachelor, Way of the World)
1685 Aaron Hill English playwright/poet (Tragedy of Zara)
1686 Johann F Gronovius Dutch physician/botany
1696 Johann Melchior Molter composer
1702 Jean-Pierre Guignon composer
1717 Pierre de La Garde composer
1728 Peter III Feodorovich German/Russian czar of Russia (1761-62)
1735 Johann Christoph Kuhnau composer
1741 Franz Adam Veichtner composer
1750 Stanislao Mattei composer
1775 Charles Lamb London England, critic/poet/essayist
1788 Johann Peter Pixis composer
1795 Ary Scheffer Dutch painter/etcher/sculptor
1807 Abner Clark Harding Brigadier General (Union volunteers), died in 1874
1818 Isham Green Harris Governor (Confederacy), died in 1897
1819 Richard Storrs Willis composer
1821 William Read Scurry (Confederate Army Brigadier General, died in 1864)
1824 Samuel Plimsoll Bristol England, inventor (Plimsoll line for ships)
1827 Peter J Savelberg Dutch Limburgs monastery founder
1841 Walter Parratt composer
1846 Mildred Childe "Life" Lee daughter of confederate General Robert E Lee
1847 A N Hornby cricketer (pioneering England Test batsman)
1862 W H "Gobo" Ashley cricketer (7 wickets in 1 Test for South Africa 1889)
1866 Bror Beckman composer
1866 Rafael Altamira Crevea Spanish lawyer/historian
1868 William Allen White Emporia KS, editor (Pulitzer 1942)
1869 Vasily Pavovlich Kalafati composer
1870 Fritz Klimsch German sculptor/painter
1872 Anne Anema Dutch lawyer/journalist/politician (ARP)
1879 Franz Carl Bornschein composer
1880 Jesse G Vincent Arkansas, engineer designed 1st V-12 engine
1884 Herbert Hordern cricketer (pioneering leggie for Australia & Philadelphia)
1887 [Fran J] Vital Celen Flemish literary/author
1888 G Ungaretti writer
1889 Howard Spring British author/novelist/writer/critic (O Absalom)
1890 Boris L Pasternak Russia, novelist/poet (Dr Zhivago, Nobel 1958)
1890 Cor Ruys Dutch actor (Princess Stage)
1891 Harold 1st Earl Alexander of Tunis, Governor-General of Canada (1945-52)
1892 Alan Hale [Rufus Alan Mackahan], Washington DC, actor (Little John-
Adventures of Robin Hood)
1893 Jimmy Durante New York NY, long-nosed comedian (and good-night Mrs Calabash)
1893 William [Bill] T Tilden II tennis player (US Open 1920-25, 29)
1894 [Maurice] Harold MacMillan London, (C) British PM (1957-63)
1894 Roy D'Arcy San Francisco CA, actor (Warning Shadows, Revolt of Zombies)
1896 Olin Howlin Denver CO, actor (Swifty-Circus Boy)
1897 John Franklin Enders Connecticut, micro-biologist (polio-Nobel 1954)
1898 Dame Judith Anderson Adelaide Australia, actress (Laura, Rebecca, Tycoon)
1898 Bertolt Brecht Germany, playwright (Mother Courage)/composer
1898 Joseph Kessel French journalist/writer (Army of the Shadows)
1898 Robert Keith Fowler IN, actor (Battle Circus, Branded, Wild One)
19-- Elaine [Kaufman] New York NY, restauranteur (Elaine)
1900 Rebecca Negrin
1902 Armand Bernier Belgian poet (Sorcier Triste)
1902 Stella Adler New York, actress (My Girl Tisa)
1902 Walter H Brattain Amoy China, US physicist (Nobel 1956-transistor)
1903 Matvey Isaakovich Blanter composer
1904 John Farrow Sydney Australia, director/actor (Botany Bay, Wake Island)
1905 John Dierkes Ohio, actor (Daughter of Dr Jekyll, Hanging Tree)
1905 Max Schubert winemaker
1905 Vilko Ukmar composer
1905 Walter Brown sports organizer (NBA)
1906 John "Cat" Thompson basketball hall of famer (elected 1962)
1906 Lon Chaney Jr Oklahoma City OK, actor (Dracula vs. Frankenstein,
The Phantom, Hawkeye, Pistols 'n' Petticoats)
1906 Erik Rhodes [Ernest Sharpe], actor (Top Hat, Night at the Ritz)
1906 Henry Phelps Brown historian/economist
1906 Walraven (Wally) van Hall Dutch banker/resisted Nazis
1907 Grace Hamilton 1st black member of Georgia state legislature
1908 Jean Coulthard composer
1909 Lord Milne
1910 Dominique Pire Belgium, educator, aided WWII refugees (Nobel 1958)
1910 Douglas Spencer actor (Thing, This Island Earth, River of No Return)
1910 Joyce Grenfell actress (Pickwick Papers, Americanization of Emily)
1910 Paul Whitelaw cricketer (New Zealand opening batsman vs England 1933)
1912 Lord Orr-Ewing
1913 Philippa Bevans actress (Notorious Landlady, World of Henry Orient)
1913 Ragnhild Marie Hatton historian
1914 Larry Adler Baltimore MD, harmonica player (Harmonicats) (blacklisted performer)
1916 Edward R Roybal (Representative-D-CA, 1963- )
1918 Gordon Pirie England, Group Captain
1918 Idwal Pugh British ombudsman
1920 Alexander Comfort English poet/writer (Wreath for the Living)
1920 J Heslop-Harrison botanist
1921 Adrian Cruft composer
1922 Harold Hughes (Governor-D-NJ)
1922 Neva Patterson Nevada IA, actress (Governor & JJ, Doc Elliot, Nichols)
1923 Cesare Siepi Milan Italy, basso (New York Metropolitan Opera)
1924 Randy Van Horne El Paso TX, singer (Nat King Cole Show)
1924 Bud (Norman) Poile NHLer
1926 Danny Blanchflower British soccer player
1927 Jakov Lind German/British author (Counting My Footsteps)
1927 Leontyne Mary Violet Price Laurel MS, opera soprano (Porgy & Bess)
1927 Nigel Bagnall British field marshal
1927 Viscount Cowdray British financier/multi-millionaire
1928 Gene Taylor (Representative-D-St Louis, 1973- )
1929 Hallgeir Brenden Norway, 15K/18K cross country (Olympics-gold-1952, 56)
1929 Henk Heidweiler Surinam ambassador (in Netherlands)
1929 Jerry Goldsmith pianist/composer (Twilight Zone)
1929 Jim Whittacker mountain climber (1st American to climb Mt Everest)
1930 John Gilpin English ballet dancer (Études, Alice in Wonderland)
1930 Robert Wagner Detroit MI, actor (It Takes a Thief, Hart to Hart)
1930 Peter Phillips composer
1931 Gerhard Rosenfeld composer
1931 Makoto Shinohara composer
1931 Thomas Bernhard writer
1932 Donald Hilton Moderator (General Assembly of United Reformed Church)
1932 Rockin Dopsie Sr [Alton Jay Rubin], Jazz-Fusion singer (Zydeco)
1935 Conrad Klapheck German painter (typewriters)
1935 Salvator Pueyo composer
1935 Theodore Antoniou composer
1936 Olwyn Bowey painter
1936 Sylvia Williams museum director/curator
1937 Don Wilson rock guitarist (Ventures-Walk Don't Run, Batman Theme)
1937 Yuriy Poyarkov USSR, volleyball player (Olympics-2 gold/1 silver-1964-72)
1937 Lord Justice Rose
1939 Barbara Kolb Hartford CT, composer (Trobar Jus)
1939 Roberta Flack Black Mountain (Asheville) NC, vocalist (The First Time Ever
I Saw Your Face)
1940 Jimmy Merchant rock vocalist (Frankie Lymon & Teenagers-Why Do Fools Fall In Love)
1940 Hamish Imlach folk singer/comic
1940 Mary Rand-Bignal-Toomey England, long jumper (Olympics-gold-1964)
1940 Peter Middleton CEO (Lloyd's)
1941 John Hampshire cricketer (of Yorkshire Century on debut for England 1969)
1941 Michael Apted director/researcher (Granada TV)
1942 Michael Bishop CEO (British Midland Airways)
1943 Ral Donner [Ralph Stuart], Black Mountain NC, singer (Starfires)
1944 Peter Allen Australia, singer/pianist (I Go to Rio, Legs Diamond)
1945 John Hayes Secretary-General (British Law Society)
1945 Klas Tuinstra Dutch MP (CDA)
1946 Donovan [P Leech] Scotland, rocker (Mellow Yellow)
1946 Keith Mans MP
1948 Conrad Cummings composer
1949 Joe Lavender NFLer
1950 Gail Rebuck CEO (Random House)
1950 Mark Spitz Modesto CA, swimmer (Olympics-9 gold/silver/bronze-68, 72)
1950 Mike Rutherford rocker (Genesis-Against All Odds, Mike & Mechanics)
1951 Roxanne Pulitzer Glendale CA, author (The Prize Pulitzer)
1951 Zeudi Araya Asmara Ethiopia, Miss Ethiopia (1969)
1952 Mike Varty NFLer
1953 Carl Joseph Stone composer
1953 John Shirley US, sci-fi author (Eclipse Penumbra, Eclipse Corona)
1955 Greg[ory John] Norman Queensland Australia, PGA golfer "The White
Shark" (1984 Kemper)
1955 Lusia Mae Harris Minter City MS, basketball player (Olympics-silver-76)
1957 Debbie Brinkley Tasmania, golfer (1990 T25 Victorian Open)
1957 Pranab Roy cricketer (son of Pankaj, Indian batsman 1982)
1958 Sharon Stone Meadville PA, actress (Basic Instinct, Total Recall)
1959 Tonga [Uliuli Fifita], wrestler (WCW/WAR/WWF, Ming, Haku, Islanders)
1960 Lionel Cartwright Ohio, country vocalist (I Watched it on the Radio)
1961 David Ward cricketer (prolific Surrey batsman)
1961 Eva Pfaff West Germany, tennis star
1961 George Stephanopoulos presidential adviser (Clinton)
1962 Cliff Burton rocker (Metallica)
1962 Jean-Marie Banos Lavelanet France, Canada sabre (Olympics-9/10-88, 92, 96)
1963 Lenny Dykstra centerfielder (New York Mets, Philadelphia Phillies)
1963 Bennie Thompson NFLer (Saints, Chiefs, Cleveland Browns/Ravens)
1963 Harris Huizingh soccer player (FC Groningen)
1963 Joakim Nystrom Sweden, tennis star
1964 Francesca Neri Trento Italy, actress (Ages of Lulu)
1964 Mir Aimal Kansi Quetta Pakistan, murderer (FBI Most Wanted)
1964 Roger Reijners soccer player (MVV)
1964 Sam Graddy Gaffney SC, 4x100 meter runner (Olympics-gold-1984)
1965 Lenny Webster New Orleans LA, catcher (Montréal Expos)
1965 Marjolein Macrander Dutch actress (Drowned)
1966 Daryl Johnston NFL running back (Dallas Cowboys)
1967 Laura Dern Los Angeles CA, actress (Blue Velvet, Mask, Small Talk)
1967 Bradley Hughes Mordialloc Victoria Australia, Australasia golfer
1967 Dwayne "Road Grader" White NFLer (New York Jets, St Louis)
1968 Peter Popovic Koping Sweden, NHL defenseman (Montréal Canadiens)
1968 Ryan Bowen US baseball pitcher (Florida Marlins)
1969 Jayhawk Owens Cincinnati OH, catcher (Colorado Rockies)
1969 Tim Clark US baseball outfielder (Florida Marlins)
1970 Alberto Rodriguez Texas Chubby1
1970 Alberto Castillo Dominican/US baseball catcher (New York Mets)
1970 Bobby Jones Fresno CA, pitcher (New York Mets)
1970 Brendan Eppert St Louis MO, speed skater (Olympics-1994)
1971 Kevin Sefcik Oaklawn IL, infielder (Philadelphia Phillies)
1971 Marty Nothstein Allentown PA, sprint cyclist Olympics-silver-96)
1971 Wayne Gandy tackle (St Louis Rams)
1972 Michael Kasprowicz cricketer (Australian Test fast bowler vs West Indies 1996)
1972 Nancy Christian Scottsdale AZ, WPVA volleyballer (US Open-17th-1995)
1972 Sara Simmons Belmont MA, rower (Olympics-96)
1972 Torey Hunter NFL cornerback (Houston Oilers)
1974 Andrew English CFL receiver (British Columbia Lions)
1974 Lea Ghirardi-Rubbi Colombes France, tennis star (1994 Futures NC)
1974 Ty Law NFL cornerback (New England Patriots)
1975 Tina Thompson WNBA forward (Houston Comets)
1977 Stephanie Ann Foisy Concord NH, Miss New Hampshire-America (1995)

Deaths which occurred on February 10:
1134 Robert III/II Curthouse Duke of Normandy, dies
1162 Boudouin III son of King Fulco of Anjou/husband of Theodora, dies
1164 Hugo van Fosses/Prémontré abbott of Prémontré, dies
1482 Luca della Robbia Italian sculptor (majolica reliefs), dies at 81
1495 Sir William Stanley English lord chamberlain, executed for conspiracy
1567 Darnley Mary Queen of Scots' husband, murdered
1567 Lord Darnley Stuart husband of English queen Mary, murdered
1588 Joost Sybrantsz Buyck Amsterdam merchant/regent, dies at about 82
1598 Anna van Bull 1st wife of Polish/Swedish king Sigismund II, dies
1657 Sebastian Stosskopf Elizabethian painter, dies at 59
1678 Philip Vingboons Amsterdam's master builder, buried
1686 William Dugdale Garter King of Arms (1677-86), dies
1711 Lukas Fencer Dutch poet (Meleager & Atalante), dies at 22
1772 Jozef Wenceslas monarch of Liechtenstein/general, dies at 75
1772 Louis Tocqué French painter, dies at 75
1774 Florian Leopold Gassmann composer, dies at 44
1783 James Nares composer, dies at 67
1816 Johann Paul Aegidius Martini composer, dies at 74
1822 Albert-Kasimir duke of Saxon-Teschen/Governor of Hungary, dies at 83
1825 Paul van Hemert Dutch theologist/philosopher (Kant), dies at 68
1829 Leo XII [Annibale Sermattei], Italian Pope (1823-29), dies at 68
1832 Antonio Benedetto Maria Puccini composer, dies at 84
1837 Alexander S Pushkin writer, dies at 37
1861 Francis Danby Exmouth, painter, dies
1876 Johan August Soderman composer, dies at 43
1879 Honoré V Daumier French painter/lithographer, dies at 70
1879 Wolter R baron van Hoëvell Dutch vicar/abolitionist, dies at 66
1880 Isaäc M "Isaac A" Crémieux French minister of Justice, dies at 83
1887 Ellen Wood English author (Pomeroy Abbey), dies at 73
1887 Pieter van der Aa Dutch geographer, dies at 54
1902 J N Krieger German Selenographer, dies
1905 Ignacy Krzyzanowski composer, dies at 78
1912 Joseph Lister 1st Baron Lister, surgeon (pioneer of antiseptic), dies
1915 Albert J-BJ Thijs Belgian Colonial pioneer (Congo), dies at 65
1917 Emile Pessard composer, dies at 73
1918 Abdül-Hamid II 34th sultan of Turkey (lost Serbia/Egypt), dies at 65
1923 Wilhelm Konrad von Rontgen physicist (Nobel 1901), dies at 77
1932 R H Edgar Wallace British writer/journalist (3 Just Men), dies at 76
1939 Pius XI [Ambrogio D A Ratti], Italian Pope (1922-39), dies at 81
1943 Wa'er shot dead by Defiance
1945 Juan de Hernandez composer, dies at 63
1948 Ewart Astill cricket all-rounder (9 Tests for England 1927-30), dies
1948 Sergei Eisenstein Russian director (Battleship Potemkin), dies at 50
1950 Armen Tigran Tigranyan composer, dies at 70
1951 Joseph Bovet composer, dies at 71
1957 Laura Ingalls Wilder US author (Little House on Prarie), dies at 90
1958 Billy Vine actor (54th Street Revue), dies at 42
1962 Willem Paerels Netherlands/Belgian painter/graphic artist, dies at 83
1966 Billy Rose US theater producer (Diamond Horse Show), dies at 66
1968 Pitirim A Sorokin Russian/US sociologist, dies at 79
1977 Grace Mary Williams composer, dies at 70
1982 K R Meher-Homji cricketer (Test as Indian, catch no stumped), dies
1983 Eduard Franz actor (Zorro), dies at 80
1986 Brian Aherne actor (Juarez, My Sister Eileen, Rosie), dies at 83
1989 Dan Kelly NHL sportscaster, dies at 52, "He shoots, he scores!"
1992 Alex Haley US writer (Autobiography of Malcolm X, Roots), dies at 70
1992 Florence Tarlow dies of cancer at 70
1992 Mau Kopuit Dutch editor-in-chief (New Israeli Weekly Newspaper), dies
1992 Meade Roberts screenwriter, dies of congestive heart failure at 61
1992 Thomas Graftdijk Dutch writer (Dr Faustus), dies
1992 Wim Ramaker Dutch director/writer (On Death Track), dies
1993 John Grossman Czechoslovakian director (Process, Revisor), dies
1993 Joy Garrett actress (Days of Our Live), dies of liver failure at 47
1993 Maurice Bourges-Maunoury PM of France (1957), dies
1995 Kenton Kilmer poet/translator, dies at 85
1995 Louis Sen A Kaw Suriname's great dam builder, dies at 75
1995 Paul Monette writer, dies at 49
1995 S van der Linde church historian, dies at 89
1996 Hugh Francis Lamprey ecologist, dies at 67
1997 Brian McManus Connolly musician, dies at 47
1997 Milton Cato PM of San Vincent & Grenadines (1979-84), dies
1998 Buddy the Wonder Dog dog (Air Bud), dies of cancer at 9
1998 Maurice Schumann French foreign minister (1969-73), dies

WHERE DID ALL THE LOVING DISAPPEAR?

2005-02-05T03:33:00.000-06:00

Sitting here listing to my collections on the PC. Taken by the music. I think and ponder with some flashbacks. The thoughts bring a smile and a tear. The emotion grows with the thought of your eyes, your face and your hands. I miss the stares. I miss your touch. I miss your smile. The way that it made me feel. The sound of your voice and the joy it brought to my face and the feel of being the luckiest man alive. Where did all the loving disappear? The question still lingers. The magic is all but gone. The sounds and words make me realize that its going to take sometime for me to forget you. Yet all my mind keeps hearing is that final word: "Good-bye."

ALBERT

Simple Thing

2005-01-31T18:48:00.000-06:00

Dont know where the confusion laid. Maybe I read the signs wrong but something inside tells me thats not the case. Feel foolish for keeping this up but I think it worth the energy. Foolish is the man that doesn't even try. Or is it Foolish is the man that keeps trying and failing? Why do we make things more complicated for ourselves? Don't know what it was but something inside me was touched. Was it because I heard the things I wanted to hear? Was it because I was desparately seeking to replace what I once had? Was I just yearning for Love? To feel wanted and needed? Sometimes I feel that I should just give up and accept it all. Is that my destiny, Lonelyness? Why can't I just be content and accept things and move on? Why? Sometimes I think I should follow logic and common sense, but then I think why shouldn't I follow my heart? So many roads so many paths that makes things so confusing. Simple Thing, where have you gone (http://www.keaneband.com)?

ALBERT

THE DISTANT OBSERVER

2005-01-22T22:36:00.000-06:00

I can't help my self.
I would like to get closer and feel that what I see.
But then again there are things I did not see.

I should have known it was too good to be true.
That such a great soul
would not have a place in someones elses heart.

I feel the great loss.
And for that I do not understand,
how I couldn't obtain
the soul I yearned to touch.

For that I will have to settle.
And fill my souls content
as the distant observer.

ALBERT
________

If you don't want to rush it baby
Well then by all means don't
But I'm gonna wait for the day when
You see that it's me you wantI can see,
I can tell that you need me
You know that I need you too
So why on earth can't you ever let her go
Will you ever try anything new

http://www.martina-mcbride.com/lyrics/keepingmydistance.shtml

THE IRONY

2005-01-17T20:33:00.000-06:00

Only in the South can you find this bit of Irony. Today is a national holiday honoring a civil rights leader, Dr. Martin L. King. Well as a state government employee we get many holidays today being one. Seems like governments observe anything and everything, seems like sometimes they want to just have another day off. Well the irony I speak of is that this week when we celebrate a leader of Civil Rights here in Texas we will also celebrate/honor (Wednesday) Confederate Heros who fought for state rights amoung them Slavery. Ain't that weird? The irony of celebrating 2 opposites, Only in the South!

ALBERT

Side note: I aint racist so please dont take this writing as such. I just thought it was so ironic and felt like writing about that. But then again I shouldn't appologize for my writing, I know who I am!

TOO LATE

2005-01-10T23:23:00.000-06:00

Have you ever found a connection but the timing turns out bad? What a tragedy that there seems to be a connection between two people yet there is something that doesnt allow it to go further. I sit here wondering why am I too late. I lay at night wanting to know more. Wanting to feel the touch and complete the connection. The pain of the heart sends me crying thinking of what could have been. The passion overflows. I lay here sitting, thinking and dreaming yet Im afraid that I am too late!

http://www.minibite.com/oldies/borntoolate.htm

ALBERT

I TRY

2005-01-07T18:37:00.000-06:00

Games, changes, and fears
When will they go from here?
When will they stop?
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together, babe
But we're not

I play it off but
I'm dreaming of you
And I'll keep my cool, but I'm feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But I'm just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I'm dreaming of you
And I'll keep my cool but I'm feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke (yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Here is my confession
May I be your possession?
Boy I need your touch
Your love, kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can't deny Deny

I play it off but I'm dreaming of you
(But I'm dreaming of you, babe)
And I'll keep my cool,
but I'm feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (oh)
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near (ahh)
Goodbye and I choke (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (hey, hey, hey)
Though I try to hide it, it's clear (say it Lord)
My world crumbles when you are not near (Lord, the Lord kisses us)

Goodbye and I choke (I'm choking)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it's clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
-Macy Gray "I TRY"

WORDS

2005-01-07T18:21:00.000-06:00

Music, what would we do without it? There is so much to it. Know a song that inspires you? A song that picks you up? How about one that makes you mad? Yes music can do that. Its one of the reasons I enjoy it. I wonder what the artist was thinking when they wrote the song. Was it a dramatic experience or just a scene or nothing at all it was just a word that they focused on. It makes it very interesting. I will from time to time put out lyrics out there that I find inspiring, sometimes lyrics that point to the way I am feeling, other times I just like the words. Never the less I would like to share the words (www.lyrics.com) that these talented artist wrote. I think it will add a different twist to my blog.

ALBERT

LOOP HOLES

2005-01-05T16:22:00.000-06:00

The common man never knows about these things. But there is always a way around/out of something. Seems like "Honest" people just do what they are told and dont try to sneak around. Well leave it to the "Sneaky" to try to figure out ways out. Everything from Taxes to Crime laws have loop holes. Is it bad to take advantage of them? If not then does that make the "Honest" people Stupid or Dumb? As I was getting ready to register for some classes at my community college, I asked my boss if it would be a problem to alter my schedule. She asked me if I was going to try and brush up and get out of where I work. I know she was joking but I still told her no I am doing this to get out of paying my student loans (http://www.salliemae.com/). She looked at me puzzled. I explained to her that I could take 6 hours at a college/university and that would defer my student loans. I also mentioned how it was way way cheaper for me to pay for 6 hours each semester than to pay my student loan. If I go to school I save about $5000 per year for a cost of about $600 to my community college. She was shocked, then asked how long can you do that for? Well I told her I did a bit of research and apparently I can do this forever! Yep, good ole Loop Holes. She was even more surprized by that answer and said: "Wow, I didnt know that!" Apparently not many do. After getting my degree, I never thought myself as continuing school but given the alternatives, I guess I can be a Professional Student as well. Well its been 10 years after getting my degree. I started paying after graduation and then ran into some road blocks when I tried to purchase my first home. Turns out that the amount I owed (not a small amount) was hurting my debt ratio. I looked into it and found that if I took some courses I would defer my loan and in the banks eyes the debt wasnt there yet so didnt count against me. So I enrolled. Then I figured out that I could do this forever and thus here I am the Professional Student enrolling for another semester of Classes. Got to say I am running out of courses that interest me but wait I think I found another LOOP HOLE!

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!

2005-01-02T00:39:00.000-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! http://www.fathertimes.net/auldlangsyne.htm

I am a big College Football Fan with the Texas Longhorns being my favorite team. I enjoy it for the traditions and the rivalries. Nothing compares with its History, the fans in the stands the bands playing and the clashes on the field! With over 2400 games played by both Texas and Michigan, the teams had never met. Today they did. The first time ever in Texas' first time ever Rose Bowl appearance! How could that be with these 2 Storied Universities? The History: President Ford and his association with Michigan (grad) and Lyndon Johnson with Texas (though he never attended), Michigan one of the famous college fight song - Hail to the Victors (http://www.umich.edu/~info/inside.html?http://www.umich.edu/~info/victors.html) and Texas with the most famous School Song - The Eyes of Texas (http://www.mackbrown-texasfootball.com/pages/proudtrads/eyestexas.html), Michigan with one of the most recognized helmet and Texas with the most recognized hand signal (Hook 'em Horns! http://www.mackbrown-texasfootball.com/pages/proudtrads/hookem.html). They said the Horns didnt belong. That they were over rated and that they were breaking Tradition (Pac-10 vs Big 10). Well Michigan was up 37-35 with 2 seconds left in the game. Texas kicks a 37 yard field goal to Win 38-37! Congratulations Horns! You proved that you do belong and that you can win the big games! So all Hail to the Victors! The Texas Longhorns, the champions of the West!

http://www.mackbrown-texasfootball.com/pages/proudtrads/texfight.html

HOOK 'EM! \m/
ALBERT

White Christmas

2004-12-29T16:29:00.000-06:00

The song White Christmas was inspired by the writer's fond memories of growing up with White Christmases. The writer was in Sunny Southern California where snow is a rarity. Similar to that is the weather along the Texas Gulf Coast. Well the forcasters had talked about a slight chance of snow flurries right before Christmas. Well the system really turned and 3" of snow was on the ground before you knew it! Never did I imagine that I would experience a White Christmas in Texas! The sight was Surreal! Houston received their first recorded snow fall in 15 years. A city just 50 miles SW of Houston (Victoria) received a record 13". The surpassing the snow that the city had received in the last 100 years combined. Then you go to extreem South Texas The southern most point in Texas, Brownsville, where no snow had ever fallen since the city started keeping records over 120 years ago. These are all beach cities (except Victoria) and think of the site as a sunny paradise getting bombarded in a snow storm. The site on the Newscast showing people at the beach building snowmen with a blanket of snow on the ground and the waves crashing in the background! Did hell freeze over? Nope just happened to be the right mixture a low and high. The cold Canadian Artic front with the Gulf moisture being pulled. It was fun enjoying the snow fights even building a small foot tall snowman. Im sure I will see snow again in Texas but probably never experience another White Christmas!

ALBERT

A CHRISTMAS WISH

2004-12-23T13:44:00.000-06:00

Well not one to normally ask for any material things during Christmas and I ain't about to start. All I wish for this Christmas is for my true love to come. I feel that there is at least one person out there (some people are special and have more, I dont feel Im one) for everyone. Though I believe this to be true, some of us spend our entire lives searching but yet never find them. While others settle. And then there are those that find them. Why is it so hard? I'll never understand. Sometimes it seems like the right one might have come but unless you're the right one too it may not work. Saddly the mirror has two faces and the reflection has to be the same! There is smudges in the mirror and at times we need to wipe them off to see the reflection clearly. Well with a freshly wiped mirror, I search again and hope that this Christmas I get my wish: To have someone to hold, love and to share my life and dreams with. All I ask is that the person do the same and Hold me and Love me! That in the good times and the bad we be there for each other lifting each one of us up! And that if we should fall at the same time we both get up together as well! I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and that this year Life grants you A Christmas Wish...

ALBERT

PAINTING THE TOWN RED!

2004-12-20T00:31:00.000-06:00

I got a call from a friend of mine and asked what I was doing Saturday night. I had no plans. I had been wanting to let lose and enjoy a night in the town for a while but motivation had been a problem. Seems that my friend was being the same way and we were able to commit to going out if we both agreed to it. I went and picked him up and headed to the bar. Started off kinda dead but we made the best of it and started catching up on what was happening in our lives and enjoying the beers. Before we knew it the place started getting packed. Took a look around and ended up running into this person I had talked to several times online. We started talking and laughing on how we ended up meeting. I intruduced my friend and he intruduce his friend and we ended up chatting it up and drinking quite a bit. In the mist of it all my online friend ended up telling us that his good friend owned this other bar and if we were interested in going over and having a few drinks. Well we headed over to Bar #2 and the drinks started flowing. Guess knowing the owner has its privilages! Boy we had quite a few drinks to say the least. Had a new drink/shot. Apparently people have been creative with the new energy drinks and drinking them for their purpose is not enough. The new drink I had was called bull ball buster. The drink/shot is 1/4 glass of Red Bull (aparently the alcohol is not enough to give you a pick me up! LOL) on the side is a shot of Jagermeister. You take the shot and drop it into the Red Bull and bang you shoot the drink! Wow! Was surpised how good it was. It tasted sweet kinda like a sweet fruit candy taste to it. Went down very smooth and yea did give me wings amoung the horns too...LOL Well needless to say stayed out til 5:00 a.m. and well after Painting the Town Red in a fun evening, I am really paying for it! Where is the Red Bull when I need it!?

ALBERT

The Joy of Christmas!

2004-12-14T01:10:00.000-06:00

Woke up this morning and decided I was "sick." I logged into work and sent out my absent mail. In certain aspects I was sick, sick of work that is. LOL We all need a break sometime! We got a cold front come in and FINALLY feels like the Christmas season! Can you believe yesterday it was 83 degrees? At least I wasnt in my hometown, they were the high for the nation at 88 degrees yesterday! Today the high was 58 degrees, tomorrow should be 50. Yea I know its not that cold but remember what Sunday was so 30 degrees makes a big difference! Well got up and decided to celebrate the joy of Christmas and go shopping for my Christmas list! Boy I am glad I did. Turns out that Old Navy was having this big sale and well its going to be an Old Navy Christmas! LOL I mean when you can get sweaters and shirts for $5 to $10 you cant beat it! In fact my most expensive gift was a sweater for $8.25! I like sales like this cause I can give more! So got to scratch everyone off my list with the exception of my mom and my dad's bday gift. Maybe I'll be "sick" tomorrow again!

White Elephants

2004-12-12T15:21:00.000-06:00

Busy day yesterday. Finally started to do the Christmas shopping. Boy the stores are getting crowded. Guess thats great news for the economy. Got to buy a couple of things so got to scratch some things off the list. While out there, I ended up finding a cool gift. I was going to attend a Christmas Party for the Organization I belong to and they were having a white elephant exchange. I couldn't find anything to buy and recalled how stupid some of the gifts are that people bring. I mean who shops for these things? I know the limit is $10 dollars but be creative with what you bring. Either make it a big gag or something cool. There are things that can be bought under $10. Even then what does it matter if you spend $12 instead of $10 just to get the better gift? Ok so they dont want to spend the money but again be creative. Well I was at this store that has stuff from Clothes to Home stuff. I started looking around and saw some nice Shakers (Mix Drinks) and stuff nice for $8 bucks. Then I looked up and saw this Crystal Decanter. Very nice but thought it would be too pricey but noticed the 50% off sign and decided to check it out. Well turns out it was $19.99 and it was reduced from $30 so with the discount it would be $10 plus tax. I went for it. Well part of the White Elephant is sometimes u get gag gifts so I found the box where my iron came in and i wrapped it there. Turns out that people started laughing and the person that opened it thought it was an iron and was sort of disapointed. I let it ride for a bit and right before the next person went for their turn I told him to open the box and check out the "iron" that it was a special one. He opened the box and really enjoyed it. So much that the next person that was going to open another gift went over to him and took it off his hands! See with a little thought you can make it better than the dumb "regift" candle and holder...

ALBERT

Can I have some more?

2004-12-10T19:25:00.000-06:00

Taking a compliment is pretty hard for me at times. I was kinda surprised by the reaction of my co-workers. They seemed to love the cake I made. With comments like "WOW!", "this is the best Italian Cream Cake...", "you're great", etc. I dont know why but usually find it hard to take a compliment. Maybe its because I am a bit harder on myself. I am my worst critic! As you can read from the previous entry I didnt think it was going good. That the cake turned out to be one of the worst that I have ever made. How can it then be one of the best? I guess thats why its hard for me to accept certain things. I know, I know, I am trying and its become a bit easier to accept. I just have to put some of my thoughts out of my mind. Well here is the most funny thing, I have to take a cake for a Christmas party tomorrow night and I am thinking of making the actual thing I swore I would never make again! LOL See, Im not that bad, I am actually rethinking of doing the Italian Cream Cake. LOL, Might it be that I just want more compliments? No I dont think so. Actually, I will tell you another Baker's (Cook) secret. The way to pay the best compliment to a Baker is by asking for seconds/more! That was the best compliment my co-workers paid to me today. At the end of the meeting when we all get up, one person asked "can I have another piece of cake?" I said sure, I brought it for you all! As I am walking out I see 4 people getting another piece! That said to me that they did like the cake!

ALBERT

The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker

2004-12-09T23:37:00.000-06:00

Well here I am again, just another day in Paradise. Well something about me, when I am stressed or when I want to relax I BAKE. I think I am pretty good at it. Well some co-workers found out that I enjoy doing this and down came a request. "Do you know how to make Italian Cream Cake" asked one of the co-worker while all the others started "mmmmm", "yea", "oh yes make one!" Well truth I had never made one and flat out told them and they got disappointed. So I said ok, being that it was one of my co-workers Birthday. I told them I would bring one Friday, which is tomorrow. So here I was trying to figure out which one of all the recipes that I found to use. I finally decided on this recipe from a Bed and Breakfast in Tennesee (us southerners know how to bake!). Well after 2-2.5 hours, I found out this was the hardest cake I have had to make! I will not be making this cake again any time soon! This is the first cake that I have baked that was falling apart on me! Boy it was hard to keep together. Dont know if that is a good sign or not but I was not pleased with all the work that created! I think I know why they put pecans on the side of the cake. Seems like that was the easiest way to cover the crumbling of the cake. That is the bakers trick if something has an inperfection, cover it or draw the attention away from it by making things busy (i.e. designs, stars, lines, etc.). It keeps the eyes away from the mistake! Ok next time you see a cake or desert you will be looking for this. Don't know how it came out, I guess I have to update you tomorrow! But I do know that the badder tasted good! I could have licked the whole bowl clean! Ok so I did! LOL

ALBERT

Time

2004-12-08T20:10:00.000-06:00

Time seems to be running yet it doesnt seem to create a distance I need. Still think alot about my X. Seems like the little things bring back the memories. I know with Time those memories will start to fade away but it doesnt seem like Time passes by. I seem to do fine if I occupy myself and usually during the day that is no problem since I am at work, but the drive home, at the store, at home and the drive to work, time seems to go on forever. What ever happened to the expression "Time sure flies by?" If only that were true. Feeling lonely at the worst time of year. Christmas is my favourite time, but it just doesnt seem right this year. Maybe its the weather being warmer than normal or maybe its the damn memories. I would like to enjoy the holiday season. I need to put it all behind and move forward but only Time can help...If only I could buy me TIME.

ALBERT

The Start of Something New

2004-12-05T20:35:00.000-06:00

Well never have done this but I figured now is the best time to start. Just went thru a break-up and felt very crushed. For this reason I decided to start writing my thoughts and let the feelings out. I don't really know what I will be writing about or what I will be saying on here but I do want to keep it as a personal insight of who I am. So most of the stuff might not make sense but it will for me. Again I want to let my feelings out and feel this may help. The Con on this is that I may seem like a total idiot and seem to have lost it! LOL I hope not to embarass myself and if I do oh well. Never been one to shy from things so if I do end up embarrassing myself or seem pathetic, I will look back and Laugh and Hope that it helps me get thru things in my life. So with this new medium and the recent break-up I bid the old world goodbye and heres to a Start of Something New...