The World of TexasChubby1

YOU GOT A FRIEND

2006-06-28T18:05:00.000-05:00

Hey, aint it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them. (You Got A Friend - James Taylor)

If only it was like the slogan and you will hear "YOU GOT A FRIEND" each time you meet someone new. Been thinking more and more about my friends. I recently went thru a Divorce and was in need of some friends to stand by me. Things have changed so much. If you ask my x-wife she will tell you that my friends cost a huge burdon on my marriage. Though I tend to see it otherwise. To me they were the ones that helped my marriage last as long as it did! See I see friends in a totally different light. To me a friend is someone that I can trust with my entire life. Someone that I know has my back, someone that puts me before themselves. Someone that is not selfish. Most people would say how can you ask for such a thing. Simple, I say because thats how I treat my friends. I am not selfish and my interest is always thier best interest. Mind you many think this is ridiculous seeing that a friend is an "aquaintance." Those to me are not friends and though I use the word frequently sometimes it is used loosely. The way I see it, I have very little friends for most are not willing to sacrafice the ultimate being of ME. Yea, I would do this for my few friends, sacrifice myself for them. In fact there is little that I wouldn't do for them. I hope my actions so far in life have proven this to them. As I would always tell my x-wife, "I can lose everything but a friend is someone who I will have forever!"

BLUE SKIES

2006-05-26T16:53:00.000-05:00

I was blue, just as blue as I could be
Ev'ry day was a cloudy day for me
Then good luck came a-knocking at my door
Skies were gray but they're not gray anymore Blue Skies - Rod Stewart

They say that every low has its high. After traveling through some lows, I have seemed to find my high. Little did I know. How could I since it seemed just like any other. The kind that I seem to walk away from. I wasn't about to give it that satisfaction. Persistance or was it the stubborn bull in you? Whatever it was it worked. The minutes turned to hours and here we are today. Can't wait to see what is next. Smiles and laughter has replaced those endless loney nights. The days are brighter with not a cloud in sight! Nothing but Blue Skies!

THE AVERAGE GUY

2006-05-08T01:03:00.000-05:00

I really dont do these but found this one a bit interesting. Goes to show what I always say that I am just your average guy. HOW BORING! I always wanted to be more than just an average guy! Was very content with my circle of good friends but always wanted more...

ALBERT

All American Kid

Popular but not plastic. Athletic but not a jock. Smart but not a brain.

You were well rounded and well liked in high school.

Who Were You In High School?

PEACEFUL SOUL AT REST

2006-04-09T03:52:00.000-05:00

...And you give yourself away
And you give yourself away
And you give
And you give
And you give yourself away

My hands are tied
My body bruised, she's got me with
Nothing left to win
And nothing else to lose (With or Without You - U2)

Its 4:00 AM and all I can think of is you. Why aren't you on? As I ponder, I recall vividly the image of you laying next to me just like you were not too long ago. Asleep. The body at rest as I see the your chest expand with every breath it took. The thoughts of waking you up but then again how could I do it when you were so peacefully sleeping. I recall the glow of the light encircling your body as it layed curled up and searching for warmth. I couldn't help but reach over and wrap my arm around you. The feel of my touch made your body react. The spark of warmth as my hand touched the skin sent chills running down your spine. Oh the thoughts raced through my head as I saw your body react to the touch. How I wished to wake you up but as I remove my hand I just layed there basking in the ever lasting image of your peaceful soul at rest!

-ALBERT

MIDNIGHT RENDEZVOUS

2006-03-31T12:46:00.000-06:00

Just when I had gotten used to it, it was gone. All I had left was this empty space next to me. I miss the touch of your hand, the feel of your kiss, and the sound of your voice! I loved the feel of holding you in my arms as your rested your head on my chest and you layed there with your arms wrapped around my body. You made me feel like I had all your trust and all your whole world in my arms. I want to protect you, to make you feel safe in my arms just like that safety a child feels with his Dad. Did you feel it? I want to give you the world, I want to be your all. Do you want it? Who knows when we feel it and get it again. For now I'll see you at our little Midnight Rendezvous!

-ALBERT

TRUE FRIENDS

2006-03-01T11:59:00.000-06:00

When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all
I'm on your side, oh
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found (Bridge over Troubled Water – Simon & Garfunkle)

I got the number of an old friend, a friend who I had not talked nor seen in 15 years. That is a long time and I pondered whether to call or not. My thoughts drifted to a time in my life when he was an impact. I wondered what they had been up to and what is going on now. Sometimes memories should just be kept in the past and lives should move on. I ignored those thoughts as I placed the call to my past. I met my friend for dinner and drinks. The drive memory lane was great things that I had forgotten were now becoming an instant replay in my mind. The hours pasted and the evening became short and we both wondered why it had been 15 years since we last spoke! I am glad I got to find a long lost friend. They were important in shaping my life and into who I am today. Friends are so hard to find now-a-days! I don’t have many friends but I do have a lot of acquaintances. Why I don’t know maybe my thoughts of friends is different that others. To me a friend carries a heavy task. Maybe that’s not fair and I shouldn’t do that but it is what I strive for so figure my friends should be able to do the same. A friend is one that doesn’t judge. I read an email once that said a friend is someone who is willing to stand by you and help when it is needed but a True Friend is one that is sitting with you in jail laughing at what just happened. That’s what I strive to be for my friends. Stand in the middle of it with them all along laughing, crying, and singing as we sink together. A friend who is doesn’t judge and walks together fighting the same battle not competing against each other in it. A friend who’s goal is willing to risk it all for the sake of the friendship. Running into my old friend reminded me of being what friendship is. “When you're down and out, when you're on the street, when evening falls so hard I will comfort you. I'll take your part, oh when darkness comes and pain is all around.” I need fixing and I am searching for my True Friends.

-ALBERT

FIX ME

2006-02-14T22:27:00.000-06:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you Coldplay - Fix You

Theres seems to be a cure for everything now-a-days. A magic pill to fix anything. But yet we don't have a cure for the loneliness. What brought it? A void an emptiness. Guess we should look at it that way. That basically what we feel is that that has gone away. Could we have been so lucky that we did have it at one time the joy and happiness? Our minds filled with wonderful thoughts - the thoughts of invincibility and the thoughts of forever! Sadly it wasn't forever. Nothing in life is and thus it brings us the void called loneliness. I sit here alone on this Valentines Day with the thoughts running through my head of the fun and joy that I once enjoyed. With a heavy heart's desire to feel that LOVE again! The feels of a soft kiss caressing the neck. The feel of a hand on my face as a pair of eyes look into my soul. The feel of joy from the wisper of "I love you..." ringing in my ear. Oh how the heart cries "fix me!"

ALBERT

WALKING THE DARK ROAD

2006-02-02T20:52:00.000-06:00

There's nothing else to lose
nothing left to find
There's nothing in the world
That could change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else...

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
Closer where I Started
Chasing after you (Hanging By A Moment - Lifehouse)

Don't know what it is? Tired of the games and just looking for the truth! Why do I keep hanging around? Maybe a part of me refuses to believe the signs that are there. Sometimes we are just blinded by the idea and are not able to see reality. The simple things give one the confidence to go keep going, yet the simple things never came. That in itself should have been the biggest sign. Yet the couple of calls and the few words that were spoken kept us there! But then I find myself walking this road. Where was I going? Was hoping to meet in the middle. But having arrived there, I find myself alone. I wait a little longer hoping for the moment to come then looking up and seeing the light begin to dim. I start to walk past the middle thinking that maybe you may be close. Yet I still see no sign. What could have happened? Ponder if I should wait a little longer, yet at the same time I think how much more time? Its getting dark and I should head back, yet I can't bear the thoughts of walking the dark road alone.

-ALBERT
_______________

Found this great write on this song...

The moments that make up our lives are often filled with precious transcendence, but only when we let go long enough to be suspended in the moment. Maybe that’s one of our biggest problems. It’s so rare that we stop long enough to contemplate just what is going on in our lives. To do this you have to surrender your agenda, at least long enough to be open to a sometimes frightening or overwhelming unknown.Lifehouse captures this elusive suspension of time in their powerful “Hanging By a Moment”. In the course of a short power-pop rock song they take us through doubt, fear, surrender, change and faith – no small accomplishment. You appreciate the image of “falling more in love with you” that the band is singing about. You can take the song as yet another expression of heartfelt affection between two people, but I think it’s evident that the song is about the mysterious divine relationship so many of us hunger after. When we struggle to make the connection it often falls flat. Instead, we are invited to let go of our self-centeredness, admit that we are incomplete and incapable by ourselves of finding the real meaning in life and just be in a moment. The song brings up some pretty important things to get to this “hanging moment”. It helps when we are “desperate for changing” and “starving for truth”. We must be willing to chase after something we don’t understand, only knowing that when we admit we can’t do it all then we’ll go running to the One who invites us “to take all of me”.

WILL

2006-01-25T16:06:00.000-06:00

Technology is playing more and more of a role in our lives and all aspect of life seem to be embrassing and evolving with it. A while back I wrote about how technology brought people around the world to our doorsteps. No longer were we confinded to our city or town in the people we met. Ran accross an article on courtship and started reading. Intriging how things have evolved. Romance is now more possible no longer is one just limited to the traditional ways. It is hard for those of us who would like the traditional means of courtship. I started reading more of the article and saw how people are using technology to their advantage. Long Distance relationships are more common now not just for dating but even for married people. I know this may not be the best for everyone but it has opened the doors for other possibilities. Having gone through two LDR (long distance relationships) I can say it takes alot of efforts. The first one though it was the hardest seemed to be the simplest and successful. How could that be? It was almost 18 years ago before the internet, text messaging and cell phones. The last one was 2 years ago and though we had the conviniences of all this modern technology it didn't work! Why? Is it harder with todays technologies? I think it still comes down the the simple things. The two parties have to want it to make it successful. Looking back I see that lacking in the second. The understanding that this can't be forever and at some point someone has to be willing to make a move. The open dialog in this respects is very important. What else is needed? Relationships need romance and though there is nothing that replaces a touch, a hug or a kiss, there are other ways to do it. A simple Text message saying "I'm thinking of you." How bout a phone call when you know your lover is working and leaving a romantic message. Even the traditional ways (a letter or card or flowers) still play a surpising show of love and affection. Given all these keys the most important is the WILL from both sides. I guess in the technology of courtship we still can't forget the simple things to show intrest, love, and affection!
_______________________

You're 35; try giving long-distance love a shot
THE WASHINGTON POST
Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Dear Carolyn: My story: Boy meets girl out in Washington, D.C.; instant chemistry. On first real date, girl admits to boy that she already has plans for moving to New York City in a couple weeks to attend school for about a year, but that she likes boy, too. Girl postpones moving plans a bit, spending an additional two months with boy, who continues to fall madly in love with girl. But, boy really wants girl to pursue professional dreams, and is supportive, while admitting he will miss her.
Girl is now moving in less than a month. Boy has never been a big fan of long-distance situations, but has never felt this way before, even though, at 35, he probably should be old enough to know better! Girl is 27. Is it better to sever things so that both can fully enjoy everything their respective cities have to offer? — Matt

Dear Matt: Boy, oh boy. Boy boy boy. You have met someone for whom you have feelings that you've never felt before, and you are 35. And you'd sever things? Over being a three-hour train ride apart? For a year?
You must be reading advice to younger readers or something.
If you were 21, the never-felt-this-before standard would still be significant, but you'd have to weigh it against the fact that as a new adult you're going to feel a whole lot of things you've never felt before.
But at the threshold of middle age, you should in fact know yourself better. A few months of knowing someone is nothing, but knowing when you've found a good thing is everything.
Besides, at any age, there isn't much sense in throwing away a perfectly good toaster just because there's a chance it might break. Have the nerve to tell her you care enough to want to keep seeing her, then have the nerve to see where it goes.

OBSESSION

2006-01-21T15:05:00.000-06:00

You are an obsession
I cannot sleep
I am your possession
Unopened at your feet
There's no balance
No equality
Be still I will not accept defeat (Animotion - Obsession)

Is there something that takes control of you and you feel helpless? The thirst the hunger the want but no fulfillment! You try and get more but there’s no more to be found. The drive takes control and makes you do things you don’t normally do. This obsession is just blinding with a mind of its own. Takes possession of one and takes full control. The high is great the thoughts are good but a lot of times it sets us up for failure. The emotion is draining and leaves one with just an empty feel in the end. The thirst and the hunger hardly ever get satisfied. Scary thoughts but history shows that. Best to get off the rollercoaster and take control before it takes me for a ride!

LIVING THE DREAM

2006-01-18T16:38:00.000-06:00

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers, and me. (Kermit the frog)

It all started back in August with a simple goal "Take Dead Aim." Little known that the goal would expand and welcome us all to "Live The Dream!" Learned a lot by seeing the drive and the determination to accomplish things and get them done with resounding resolve. Never looking back and never wavering. The goal was clear and the mission attainable with focus and hard work. The whole experience brought to light what could be done and accomplished. It was amazing to be there and share the moment and the experience. I felt the joy that it brought to witness the nay sayers suddenly praise what was accomplished. We finally belonged no longer overlooked or ridiculed. The feelings that night were amazing and sent me thinking. Why can't I do the same in my life? Why cant I dare to dream? So off I went from having had made no resolutions for the new year to now having some goals. I am at the point in my life where I need to make a choice and move on a path. The dreamer is often laughed at and ridiculed. Why? Shouldn't we have these dreams and strive to make them a reality? Who said we couldn't accomplish these dreams? What do we have to lose? Nothing in life comes easy. Think about it the Wright brothers had these dreams, Thomas Edison dared to dream, so why cant I? What would we have if any of these people didn't dare to dream? The dreamer has taken control with the goals to take dead aim and the idea of living the dream!

MORE THAN JUST A FANTASY

2006-01-12T23:25:00.000-06:00

Oh you can take your time baby
I'm in no hurry
I know I'm gonna get you...

you say that I waste my time
but I can't get you off my mind
no I can't let go ABBA

There you are, this fantasy! The fantasy of what can happen. The fantasy of the day! Though the day has turned into days and the days have turned into weeks and the weeks to months. I pop it open and take a look. I can't help it, I am drawn to it. It's almost and obsession a daily ritual. My heart smiles at the thoughts. The thoughts drift on the fantasy of me sitting there seeing you kicking that sand on your feet. Wondering whats in your mind at the moment with that mischievious smile. Seems like a ponder more than anything. The heart skips and smiles. To have been there watching you play in the sand with the cool breeze blowing through your face. The cool breeze that brings me to the boardwalk and an insight to part of the mystery. There by the water at your side sitting proud. The perfect shot in a cold windy day. The fantasy of being by your side with your arm around me and the joy in your face. Long to be a great memory more than just a fantasy! Take the chance make the fantasy a reality.

WHAT'S GOING ON IN YOUR WORLD

2005-12-25T03:48:00.000-06:00

The holidays! The hussle and the bussle of the world flying by. No time to stop and think! Then there is a moment of rest and it hits you. The thoughts and the loneliness draw a heavy load. The soul feels empty wanting begging for some fulfilment! Where can one find it? Does it come wrapped in a beautiful christmas gift? Can one drive up the drive-thru and order one companion to fill the void to go? Unfortunately life is not that simple and one must travel this world aimlessly waiting for that connection! The thoughts drift. How can one get to that point again? Not knowing where it will come from and seeing time just pass by. The minutes seem to run so slow and I feel I could have gotten there under other means! But such is not the case. In the slow times one has alot of time to think. The mind plays the vivid memories and the heart lets down the guards and lets the thoughts flow: "What's going on in your world? Its sure is lonesome in mine!"

-ALBERT

NO REGRETS

2005-12-22T21:03:00.000-06:00

My heart pounds. The questions arise. What have I done? Is this right? Did I make a mistake? Should I have not jumped the gun too quickly? Those are just a few questions that came racing to mind. Then I take a deep breath and think: Why not! I always go for what I want! I have nothing to lose! Think of the possibility! Yea the two extreems when life begs to be in the middle. "The happy middle" so they say, but I never been one to stay within the lines, so screw the middle! I'm going for the brass ring again. Won't be the first time I fall flat on my face, but you know just like the other times I will hold no regrets. What other way can you do that, unless you don't go for it. Well come to think of it, its too late since the rendevous is set and the clock is ticking. Just then thought brings a smile to my face and makes my heart pound again. I'm excited and I can't wait for the moment when the connection is made. I check it out again, I pause and think to myself "Yea, good move!" Its good to take a chance and just go for it! Was it the right move? Who knows only time will tell but yet I hold no regrets!

-ALBERT

THANKSGIVING

2005-11-24T21:28:00.000-06:00

Sitting here alone this thanksgiving. Bored with nothing to do. Just wandering around aimlessly. Not really looking, not really concentrating and then I found it. Staring at me like an open invitation. The warm smile calling me. Wow, I was intrigged. Looked and saw that the lights were out and nobody was home. Still felt it was worth taking the shot and said my hellos anyways. Then I heard a response. A southern voice flowed from the smile. It was indeed warm and inviting just as I had felt. Then before you know it, the seconds turn to minutes, the minutes turn to hours and the day had gone from light to dark. Where did the day go? It was lost in the conversation where time didnt seem to exist. What a great feeling that time seemed to stand still. Here I was at the start of the day thinking what should I be thankful for? Little did I know that I found my reasons staring at me this lonely Thanksgiving Day.

ALBERT

THE APPLE OF MY EYE

2005-11-09T20:20:00.000-06:00

How a life gets changed in an instant. Ten years ago you came into my life! I was so proud so full of joy! The months of anticipation had given way to the moment. Still didn't know what was coming. Eagerly waiting and watching then the moment came when you appeared. Seeing the beautiful face as tears of joy rolled down my eyes. I watched in anticipation wanting to know who was about to step into my life. There you were with eyes wide open staring out to the world intriged with the world around you! Heard your voice, I knew you were ok and I stayed comforted the one that brought you. I still remember that day vividly and will never forget it for it is the day you changed my life forever. The moment that you came into my life! Oh how I wish I was there with you now but I know it's not possible. The fate of life. How I long to hold you and be with you! Soon I shall hold you again! Happy Birthday to you, the apple of my eye!

ALBERT

WORLD TURNED UPSIDE DOWN

2005-10-23T20:03:00.000-05:00

When do you know you hit rock bottom? How the hell does it feel? Can it get any worse? Been struggling the last month or so. In some ways I am very happy but in others I feel like when will all this end!? What next? Feel like shouting "someone please just put me out of my misery" but at the same time I feel no one will hear! Where is one to turn to? What is one to do? "One day at a time" some say. But how can one get over the day that never ends? Fell like the the walls have come down all over me. Trapped in my own "groundhog day" trying to get out of the nightmare. I make changes but still end up with the same results. I am running out of changes! When does the nightmare end in the world turned upside down?

ALBERT

THE STRANGER

2005-09-18T15:05:00.000-05:00

Who are we after all? Can we truely describe ourself to others? I started thinking aobut this the other day when I was presented in a situation where I had to introduce myself. We all start with the familiar "Hi, my name is." Then we continue on to the describe a little of our likes and so on and so forth. After this, everyone seems to be content that we now know the stranger amoung us! Could this actually be? After all we dont really divoulge anything, did we? Which brings me to the other point, how many people truely know us? Do we even know who we are? Seems that we all have multiple personalities that we bring out in different situations to different people. Yet we have many more that we don't even show to anyone. Why? Might it be that we are scared of being accepted? Could it be that many people feel the same way and that we are all just freaks but too scared to show it? It becomes confusing trying to keep all these characters in check. Which face do I show now? There is this one face one face that I been wearing more often now and it was one that I had hidden and hardly brought out. But more and more I been feeling more confident with it. More and more I am seeing that its not a scary face as I had thought. So why do we fear and hide the face of the stranger.

ALBERT

LEAP OF FAITH

2005-08-21T20:56:00.000-05:00

Sounds crazy! The thought of leaving it all behind, packing all the bags and moving thousands of miles from home. What is it that drives us? The thoughts of a new life, the new possibilities, the thrill, the excitement of starting all over! Sometimes I feel thats what I need. To get up and leave everything and start anew somewhere else. A place where no-one knows my name! A place where I get to shape myself and live my life. A place where all I have is me to worry about. Is that really what I want? At times I do! It's a scary thought, I know. But think about it, wouldnt we all want to leave something behind and move forward? Dont we all want to take that leap of faith?

I have a friend who just did this. They moved from Alaska to Northern California. Not truely going to where nobody knows their name but to follow love and the possiblities. They are leaving it all behind and going for broke! To live like they were dying! Here wish them the best! It's thrilling to see and I can't wait to see what happens next. Excited to see it work, Best of Luck!

-ALBERT

HAVE I CHANGED DESTINY?

2005-07-21T17:42:00.000-05:00

Found myself freaking out. I didn't know what to do... I liked what I saw and I liked where it was headed, but then it hit me like a freight train! Whats going to happen? Where is this gonna end? The thoughts were endless and I got scared. Wondering if I was ready, if you were ready. Thats when I moved away. Why? I dont know, I think the biggest question was the latter. Was the timing incorrect? Were you available physically, mentally and mostly emmotionally. I spent a while trying to compete with someone who no longer was there. How can one do that? I mean compete with someone not there, with the comparisons, the idealogy, the old attractions, the pain. Is it fair? Fair to someone who is trying to show that they are nothing like that. That they are different. That there is good guys still left in this world. Honest and Truthful. I can't say that is what happened but I envisioned myself going through the same path again. I been pondering as to why I reacted this way. The signs were not fully there so why did it jumped at me? Thinking about it, looks like I was the one making you compete with someone that is no longer there! Could this be it? None-the-less, I tried to go back. Was I late? Did I ruin it the whole momentum? Have I changed destiny? The questions will linger. Guess even the best fall sometimes. So please don't stop here, I've lost my place, but I'm close behind!

CROSSROADS

2005-07-16T20:27:00.000-05:00

Finding myself in a series of decisions. Been hard the last few weeks I've been coming headways into an intersection. So many thing been going on in my life, I don't know what to do. Been searching my soul and been thinking about all the possibilities all the possible out comes and well all the ups and downs. The thoughts bring me out sort of a fantasy. Could this actually happen? Is it best left as a fantasy and not walk down that road? Should I turn and go the other side? Take the safe path of the road with the the tracked wedges. That has been the path that I have taken the last few times. Yes its safe choice but it really leaves me with regrets and with what ifs thoughts! That is not me! Yes, true I am conservative but at the same time I've lived taking chances and following my heart and my thoughts. Its seemed that lately I been taking my eye off the goal! Why is that? Why have I become gun shy? Was it the experiences that resulted on taking chances? Been living day by day just sleep walking going through routines. Not sad but not happy either. Should I take that path less taken and bring back the old me? I been taking the side road and have tried to take the loop around but somehow I end up at the crossroads and a decision must be made. What direction will I go?

JUST ANOTHER DAY IN PARADISE!

2005-07-15T10:45:00.000-05:00

I so didn't want to get up this morning. Was a long day yesterday! I worked about 12.5 hours trying to get an implementation done. Afterwards, I call up one of my buddy's who planned to go out and see what he was up to. Ended up dragging along for the evening. The evening it self was uneventful, seems that this town doesn't really live it up on Thursday Nights! Anyhow, didn't end up getting home til about 4:00 am. Thinking, "great I have 3 hours of sleep (normally I do 6) so that shouldn't be too bad." Hell my thoughts were, "I hadn't done this before" and I recall one time I did this i only got 20 minutes of sleep! Well folks reality set in, I am freaking 35 and I aint no spring chicken anymore! What in my wildest dreams ever gave me that idea? Am I nuts? I did manage to crawl out of bed and sit in the bathroom for 10 min thinking, "should I call in late?" "Oh hell," was my thought, "I'm already up!" On comes the shower and slowly I crawl in. The feel of the cool water running through my body, the thoughts of "if I move, I will puke" come to mind as I close my eyes and hold my head under the running water. Finally get the guts to actually start showering and trying to wake up! I end the shower hop out and dry myself. I look in the mirror thinking, "I ain't doing this again!" Quickly the next thought comes to mind, "Well at least not on a 'school' night!" I stagger into my room and look at my bed, so inviting so comfortable. Just like that my eyes dart to the alarm clock cool only 10 minutes late! I lay down on the bed thinking 5 minutes and Ill be revived...Well 13 minutes later and I am dragging along getting dressed and heading out the door. I get to my truck and trek to work. WOW! Why cant traffic be this smooth all the other days! I get to the office in record time and I am really dragging! Look at the clock and it looks like I'm 20 minutes late. I take a deep breath and rest my head on the head rest. I think there is still time to call in sick! Eight minutes later I decide its time to make the walk. The thoughts of "well go in for just a couple of hours then leave!" spring in my head. The idea is giving me new energy and the long walk from the overflow parking lot and up the stairs doesn't seem as long. I get to the door and crap, I forgot my badge in the truck! I look around and sure enough no one around to let me in the building. The new found energy has been used and now I slowly venture back to my truck to get the damn badge! I get there and the thoughts of going home arise again. I grab my badge and start the walk back to the building. Arriving, I swipe the badge and strole down to the elevator. Just my luck the quick elevator is my lucky transporter. I wish the elevator would get stuck! No luck as the doors open to my floor. Stumble out of the elevator and thru the rat maze of cubicles til I get to my rat hole! I sit and slowly log-on and think I so dont want to be here today. I goof around for 30 min 9:00 am. Man is time going by so slowly! Breakfast time, I decide and stroll down to the cafeteria. I cross a friend along the way and the courtious, "How you doing?" With his typical reply..."Just another day in Paradise!" Yep, Just another day in paradise...

GOD I LOVE SCREW-UPS!

2005-07-12T22:35:00.000-05:00

Took a trip recently and was gone for about 12 days. Man, I was going nuts without a computer. Do I actually use it that much? Didn't think I was hooked but I guess that proves I actually am! Anyhow, I was able to visit some friends and enjoy a few nights out and getting drunk. Good to get away but was very hard returning to work. I ask can you actually travel 1200 miles and still be in the same state? I traveled to Houston and spent a weekend with some friends and attended a great event out there during the weekend. Meet a few people and people that I had talked to but never actually met in person. I really enjoyed that part the most. Had a person walk up to me and say hey I've talked to you before online! Was interesting meeting them and recalling all that we have talked about! I hope I get to talk to them some more. I got to pack-up again and Travel north to Big D for some training. My old stomping ground so got to meet up with old friends I hadn't seen in a while. One night got interesting everything seemed to go wrong. We went out to dinner and we had the whole order incorrect so we send it back this time undercooked, then they added something that I asked to exclude! What was going on? You got it wrong twice wouldn't you after two tries come back and make sure you get it right? WRONG! Three strikes your out. It happened I ended up with a couple of beers and a free dinner...God I love screw-ups! The night seemed to be improving! We ended up spending a good $90 in beer so you can imagine...LOL! The week went good and back to Houston for round #2. I ended up going to see Battleship Texas and The San Jacinto Monument. Was great to be amoung so much history. The only issue was the weather! OMG 100+ and Humidity of 70% is not a great thing. Plus no water or drinks were allowed in the battleship! HELLO THIS IS SUMMER IN TEXAS! What do these people think? Anyhow, I finally arrived at home to my beautiful PC waiting for me to use! Its good to be home...

-ALBERT

GOD BLESS AMERICA

2005-07-04T21:31:00.000-05:00

It was amazing, a miracle how this country came to be. The revolutionary war and the American soldiers who had little to no training under a general that didnt have any experience in war! Barely having weapons, no uniforms and didnt even have the proper clothings at time. Facing an opponents who had one of the best Navy's and countless numbers in their Army how could we have won? With all the cards are stacked against you, America stood tall and pride and preseverance. Knowing that defeat was not an option. Amazing but those untrained badly dressed soldiers were able to make history and establish this great land of ours. A land that stands for freedom and defends the tired and oppressed! The same words Honor, Loyalty and Preseverance that our soldiers had during our Revolutionary War is found in our American Soliders today! Thanks to you our American Hero, a valid soldier who puts his life on line everyday to protect this land and give thier lives so that we can be free. Freedom is not free it has been paid by the blood of many American Soldiers who have sacrificed thier lives for our freedom! Freedom to agree or disagree with our government, to say what we please and do as we please! THANKS! God Bless You and keep you safe and God Speed! To our Comander-In-Chief may the Lord grant you the wisdom and guidance to lead us in this times of war. God Bless America!

ITS ALL IN THE NAME

2005-06-15T22:36:00.000-05:00

I got a great email today from a friend. It was a link to a place where you could find out different facts about the day you were born. No its not about what happen but more of what day of the week it was, was it a leap year, what phase of the moon it was. Anyways, in it there was a link to another interesting thing. In this one all you have to do is enter your full name and it would tell you all about you of who you are. I found it very facinating as to what it had to say about me and made me think. "You can make a very fine teacher..." I have head this one before and the fact is that I almost did go into teaching. So seeing this made me look at it more closer and see other things that I think fit my personality. Wow, I thought, can this really be? Is it this simple? We can't change who we are. I started looking at the ups and downs about my life. I tend to be a very trusting person. I like to find the good in everything and give everyone a chance. Some say I am too trusting but the way I see things its bad not to trust someone. Why should I not if someone hasn't given me the reason to mistrust? As you have read in previous posts I been lied to, hurt and decived. Given some of my recent experiences I could easily become reserved, untrusting, and bitter. But what would I gain with doing that? Can we really change who we are? Even though we may try to at times, I think deep down inside we are who we are after all its all in the name!

-ALBERT
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There are 16 letters in your name.
Those 16 letters total to 88
There are 7 vowels and 9 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 7
The characteristics of #7 are: Analysis, understanding, knowledge, awareness, studious, meditating.
The expression or destiny for #7:Thought, analysis, introspection, and seclusiveness are all characteristics of the expression number 7. The hallmark of the number 7 is a good mind, and especially good at searching out and finding the truth. You are so very capable of analyzing, judging and discriminating, that very little ever escapes your observation and deep understanding. You are the type of person that can really get involved in a search for wisdom or hidden truths, often becoming an authority on whatever it is your are focusing on. This can easily be of a technical or scientific nature, or it may be religious or occult, it matters very little, you pursue knowledge with the same sort of vigor. You can make a very fine teacher, or because of a natural inclination toward the spiritual, you may become deeply emerged in religious affairs or even psychic explorations. You tend to operate on a rather different wavelength, and many of your friends may not really know you very well. The positive aspects of the 7 expression are that you can be a true perfectionist in a very positive sense of the word. You are very logical, and usually employ a quite rational approach to most things you do. You can be so rational at times that you almost seem to lack emotion, and when you are faced with an emotional situation, you may have a bit of a problem coping with it. You have excellent capabilities to study and learn really deep and difficult subjects, and to search for hidden fundamentals. At full maturity you are likely to be a very peaceful and poised individual.

If there is an over supply of the number 7 in your makeup, the negative aspects of the number may be apparent. The chief negative of 7 relates to the limited degree of trust that you may have in people. A tendency to be highly introverted can make you a bit on the self-centered side, certainly very much self-contained . Because of this, you are not very adaptable, and you may tend to be overly critical and intolerant. You really like to work alone, at your own pace and in your own way. You neither show or understand emotions very well.

Your Soul Urge number is: 9
A Soul Urge number of 9 means: With a 9 Soul Urge, you want to give to others, usually in a humanitarian or philanthropic manner. You are highly motivated to give friendship, affection and love. And you are generous in giving of your knowledge and experience. You have very sharing urges, and you are likely to have a great deal to share. Your concern for others makes you a very sympathetic and generous person with a sensitive and compassionate nature.

You are able to view life in very broad and intuitive terms. You often express high ideals and an inspirational approach to life. If you are able to fully realize the potential of your motivation, you will be a very self-sacrificing person who is able to give freely without being concerned about any return or reward.
As with all human beings, you are prone to sometimes express the negative attitudes inherent to your Soul Urges. You may become too sensitive and tend to express emotions strongly at times. There can be significant conflict between higher aims and personal ambitions. You may resent the idea of giving all of the time and, in fact, if there is too much 9 energy in your nature you may reject the idea. You may often be disappointed in the lack of perfection in yourself and others.

Your Inner Dream number is: 8
An Inner Dream number of 8 means: You dream of success in the business or political world, of power and control of large material endeavors. You crave authority and recognition of executive skills. Your secret self may have very strong desire to become an entrepreneur.